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You decided to drive a bicycle to work and do not have parking space available. Write a letter to building manager: Why you decided to use bicycleWhat is the problemProvide some suggestions. v.2

You decided to drive a bicycle to work and do not have parking space available. Write a letter to building manager: Why you decided to use bicycleWhat is the problemProvide some suggestions. v. 2
Dear Mr. John, I am writing to report some problems in the parking lot where I park my bicycle closest to our work place. As you know, our company location is in the center of the city, and this area is usually crowded in day time due to a lot of commuters. I was driving to work daily by my car, but I realized that bicycle is the best option to commute instead. Therefore, I bought a brand-new bicycle last week for commuting to avoid checking in late at work. A parking lot is available just outside our building, and the ticket of bicycle is very cheap comparable to the car parking fee. There are many available lockers for bicycles; however, I noticed that some do not properly work and are damaged. In addition, the locker`s keys are getting stuck in the machine, and sometimes I could not open it. Our company has a reserved packing area beside the building, and it is always empty from the cars. I would, therefore, request that you discuss this matter with our administration department, and that you advise them to allow me park in this designated parking. It will be a very great help from you to me in avoiding such daily problems with the current parking lot of my bicycle. I look forward to receiving the administration approval. Yours sincerely, Ayoub Khan
Dear Mr. John,

I am writing to report
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
where I park my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
closest to our work place.

As you know, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
location is in the center of the city, and this area is
usually
crowded in day time due to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of commuters. I was driving to work daily by my car,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I realized that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
is the best option to commute
instead
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a brand-new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
last week for commuting to avoid checking in late at work.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
is available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
outside our building, and the ticket of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
comparable to the car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
fee. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
available lockers for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
;
however
, I noticed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do not
properly
work and
are damaged
.
In addition
, the
The character between 'locker' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "locker’s" (curly apostrophe) or "locker's" (straight apostrophe).
locker`s
keys are getting stuck in the machine, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I could not open it.

Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has a reserved packing area beside the building, and it is always empty from the cars. I would,
therefore
, request that you discuss this matter with our administration department, and that you advise them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me park in this designated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
. It will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from you to me in avoiding such daily problems with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of my bicycle.

I look forward to receiving the administration approval.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ayoub
Khan
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You decided to drive a bicycle to work and do not have parking space available. Write a letter to building manager: Why you decided to use bicycleWhat is the problemProvide some suggestions. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
229 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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