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You owrk for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a trainning course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter- describe the training course you want to do; - explain what the company could do v.2

You owrk for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a trainning course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter- describe the training course you want to do; - explain what the company could do v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inform you regarding a training course I took knowledge in a website and this might be helpful in my daily activities and the company will benefit from it. Let me tell you what is the course all about and how this can affect the firm. First of all, this training is about complience and it is an important matter because prepare the company and the staff to better serve clients, deal with regulations and also teaches how to conduct dilligent process inside the firm. In addition, since this course will benefit the company, I would be glad to know if there is a manner of the company pay for it and cover the expenses with materials and travels because the lecture will be given in Townsville which is about 2 hours lenght driving from here. Despite some may argue that complience is not important and unnecessary, I read articles and researches that told me to very opposite. It is a demanding and growing field in companies because it a serious process that only cautious firms. Also, this transmits an more transparent and trustworthy idea to our clients. Therefore, I hope hearing from you as soon as possible to enroll myself in this training course. Your faithful, John Smith
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inform you regarding a training course I took knowledge in a website and this might be helpful in my daily activities and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will benefit from it.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you what is the course all about and how this can affect the firm.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this training is about
Possible spelling mistake found.
complience
and it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
prepare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and the staff to better serve clients, deal with regulations and
also
teaches how to conduct
Possible spelling mistake found.
dilligent
process inside the firm.

In addition
, since this course will benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, I would be glad to know if there is a manner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
pay for it and cover the expenses with materials and travels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the lecture will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in Townsville which is about 2 hours
Possible spelling mistake found.
lenght
driving from here.

Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that
Possible spelling mistake found.
complience
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and unnecessary, I read articles and researches that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
opposite. It is a demanding and growing field in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
a serious process that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cautious firms.
Also
, this transmits
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
more transparent and trustworthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to our clients.

Therefore
, I hope hearing from you as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible to enroll myself in this training course.

Your faithful,

John Smith
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS letter You owrk for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a trainning course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter- describe the training course you want to do; - explain what the company could do v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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