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You missed a flight due to a problem at the airport. v.3

You missed a flight due to a problem at the airport. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inform you that I could not get on the flight from Dublin to Tokyo on 21st March due to mismanagement at the airport. I would like you to rectify the issue and arrange my next flight on 24th March. I booked my flight with your airline two weeks ago and was scheduled to fly to Tokyo from Dublin airport at 2100 hours on 21st March 2020. I reached the airport three hours prior to my schedule and checked in my luggage. When I was ready to take my flight, an airport security personnel approached me and asked me to follow him to the security room for interrogation. I was quite baffled by the sudden inquest and tried to be as helpful as possible. However, the damage has already been made. I missed my flight when I was cleared and due to this, I could not attend an important meeting at our Tokyo office. I notified my employer immediately and they asked me to take the next flight, which was not available until 24th March. I would like you to rectify this unexpected investigation within your jurisdiction and book my flight on 24th March without imposing any new ticket price on me. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Evan Piera
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inform you that I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
from Dublin to Tokyo on 21st March due to mismanagement at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airport
. I would like you to rectify the issue and arrange my
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
on 24th March.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
booked my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
with your airline two weeks ago and
was scheduled
to
fly
to Tokyo from Dublin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airport
at 2100 hours on 21st March 2020.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
reached the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airport
three hours prior to my schedule and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
in my luggage. When I was ready to take my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airport
security personnel approached me and asked me to follow him to the security room for interrogation. I was quite baffled by the sudden inquest and tried to be as helpful as possible.
However
, the damage has already
been made
. I missed my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
when I
was cleared
and due to this, I could not attend an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
meeting at our Tokyo office. I notified my employer
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
immediately and
they asked me to take the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
, which was not available until 24th March.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like you to rectify this unexpected investigation within your jurisdiction and book my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flight
on 24th March without imposing any new ticket price on me.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Evan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Piera
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS letter You missed a flight due to a problem at the airport. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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