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You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. v.2

You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to enquire about a car which I want to rent in order to go on a weeklong holiday with my family. We will travel to different parts of the country and sometimes travel for a long distance. I would prefer to rent a large and spacious minivan with 6 passenger seats. The car should be fully loaded and automatic. By the way, my grandfather is a person with limited mobility and uses a wheelchair. Therefore, it is absolutely essential that the automobile has enough space in it to keep the wheelchair. I would also like the car to have an automatic sliding door system so that my grandparents can enter and exit the vehicle easily. On top of that, I would also like a car with a rotating seat so that my grandfather can manoeuvre himself easily. And as for the other features, I would like to have cruise control feature, anti-lock brake system and heavy-duty tires since we would be travelling quite a long distance. Therefore, based on the requirements above, I would highly appreciate if you could quote the rental price for me for a whole week. Yours faithfully, James Crowe
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
which I want to rent in order to go on a weeklong holiday with my family. We will travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
travel for a long distance.

I would prefer to rent a large and spacious minivan with 6 passenger seats. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
should be
fully
loaded and automatic. By the way, my grandfather is a person with limited mobility and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a wheelchair.
Therefore
, it is
absolutely
essential that the automobile has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space in it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the wheelchair. I would
also
like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to have an automatic sliding door system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that my grandparents can enter and exit the vehicle
easily
.
On top of that
, I would
also
like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
with a rotating seat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that my grandfather can
Possible spelling mistake. 'manoeuvre' is British English.
manoeuvre
himself
easily
. And as for the other features, I would like to have cruise control feature, anti-lock brake system and heavy-duty tires since we would be travelling quite a long distance.

Therefore
, based on the requirements above, I would
highly
appreciate if you could quote the rental price for me for a whole week.

Yours
faithfully
,

James
Possible spelling mistake found.
Crowe
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS letter You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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