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You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. v.2

You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to enquire about a car which I want to rent in order to go on a weeklong holiday with my family. We will travel to different parts of the country and sometimes travel for a long distance. I would prefer to rent a large and spacious minivan with 6 passenger seats. The car should be fully loaded and automatic. By the way, my grandfather is a person with limited mobility and uses a wheelchair. Therefore, it is absolutely essential that the automobile has enough space in it to keep the wheelchair. I would also like the car to have an automatic sliding door system so that my grandparents can enter and exit the vehicle easily. On top of that, I would also like a car with a rotating seat so that my grandfather can manoeuvre himself easily. And as for the other features, I would like to have cruise control feature, anti-lock brake system and heavy-duty tires since we would be travelling quite a long distance. Therefore, based on the requirements above, I would highly appreciate if you could quote the rental price for me for a whole week. Yours faithfully, James Crowe
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
which I want to rent in order to go on a weeklong holiday with my family. We will travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the country and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
travel for a long distance.

I would prefer to rent a large and spacious minivan with 6 passenger seats. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
should be
fully
loaded and automatic. By the way, my grandfather is a person with limited mobility and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a wheelchair.
Therefore
, it is
absolutely
essential that the automobile has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
space in it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the wheelchair. I would
also
like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to have an automatic sliding door system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that my grandparents can enter and exit the vehicle
easily
.
On top of that
, I would
also
like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
with a rotating seat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that my grandfather can
Possible spelling mistake. 'manoeuvre' is British English.
manoeuvre
himself
easily
. And as for the other features, I would like to have cruise control feature, anti-lock brake system and heavy-duty tires since we would be travelling quite a long distance.

Therefore
, based on the requirements above, I would
highly
appreciate if you could quote the rental price for me for a whole week.

Yours
faithfully
,

James
Possible spelling mistake found.
Crowe
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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