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You have recently visited a theater and had an accident there. The staff were very helpful. Write a letter to the manager and say– Describe the accident. – How did the staff help you? – How can similar situations be prevented in the future? v.2

You have recently visited a theater and had an accident there. The staff were very helpful. Write a letter to the manager and say– Describe the accident. – How did the staff help you? – How can similar situations be prevented in the future? v. 2
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing this letter to inform you regarding the serious issue that I faced during my visit to your drama hall. The main problem was that I got fallen down while moving down stairs for the entry side and there was minor bleeding from my forehead. Even, after the incident, masses were walking onto me and moving ahead to their allotted seat, without bothering about my miserable condition. However, I was fortunate that one of your staff came to me and assisted to reach at my seat. He immediately called to his colleague and asked him to bring a first aid kit in order to stop the flow of the blood from my forehead. Moreover he latter supported me to reach my car during my departure. Finally, I would prefer to suggest you that, firstly, there should be sufficient light everywhere to identify the steps so that no one remains in confusion like me. Secondly, a separate employee at every stair area to be made available to direct humans to avoid any accident. Finally, a first aid box should be made available within the reach of the viewers. I am looking forward to implement my suggestions. Yours faithfully, Praveen Sonalki
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to inform you regarding the serious issue that I faced during my visit to your drama hall.

The main problem was that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
fallen down while moving down stairs for the entry side and there was minor bleeding from my forehead. Even, after the incident, masses were walking onto me and moving ahead to their allotted seat, without bothering about my miserable condition.

However
, I was fortunate that one of your staff came to me and assisted to reach at my seat. He immediately called to his colleague and asked him to bring a
first
aid kit in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the flow of the blood from my forehead.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
Possible mistake. Please verify.
he latter
supported me to reach my car during my departure.

Finally
, I would prefer to suggest you that,
firstly
, there should be sufficient light everywhere to identify the steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that no one remains in confusion like me.
Secondly
, a separate employee at every stair area to
be made
available to direct humans to avoid any accident.
Finally
, a
first
aid box should
be made
available within the reach of the viewers.

I am looking forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to implementing".
to implement
my suggestions.

Yours
faithfully
,

Praveen
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sonalki
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You have recently visited a theater and had an accident there. The staff were very helpful. Write a letter to the manager and say– Describe the accident. – How did the staff help you? – How can similar situations be prevented in the future? v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You have recently visited a theater and had an accident there. The staff were very helpful. Write a letter to the manager and say– Describe the accident. – How did the staff help you? – How can similar situations be prevented in the future? v.2