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You have recently visited a sports centre and discovered some problems and the poor condition of a changing room there. You have made a complaint earlier, but still no action was taken. Write a letter to the facility manager about it. In your letter– De v.1

You have recently visited a sports centre and discovered some problems and the poor condition of a changing room there. You have made a complaint earlier, but still no action was taken. Write a letter to the facility manager about it. In your letter– De v. 1
Dear Sir, I am writing to you to bring to your attention the poor state the changing room at your Dekalb facility is in. Please allow me to elaborate. I have been a member of your gym since 2013, and never have I seen the locker rooms at your gym in such bad condition as I did in the past 6 months, which I think is due to the change in the maintenance staff. To name some issues, the washrooms always stink, the temperature knobs in the sauna room are not working and most of the lockers are jammed. Despite filing a complain to the staff incharge 2 weeks back on November 12, 2018, no action was taken. Moreover, after filing the complaint, the staff members started behaving rudely with me, and some even approached me directly and told me I was being nitpicky. Because of all these, I am very disappointed and furious and I even thought of cancelling my gym membership, but since I have been a member of this gym for such a long time, I decided to stay and discuss this issue with the higher management. I, firstly, want you to discipline your new staff members and make sure they follow maintenance rules all the time, and also I want to see the changing room conditions improve as soon as possible, and I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way. Thanks, Truly, Brent
Dear Sir,

I am writing to you to bring to your attention the poor state the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
at your Dekalb facility is in.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to elaborate.

I have been a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
since 2013, and never have I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the locker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
condition as I did in the past 6 months, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the maintenance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
. To name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues, the washrooms always stink, the temperature knobs in the sauna
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
are not working and most of the lockers
are jammed
. Despite filing a
The word 'complain' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "complaint"?
complain
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
Possible spelling mistake found.
incharge
2 weeks back on November 12, 2018, no action
was taken
.
Moreover
, after filing the complaint, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
behaving
rudely
with me, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even approached me
directly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me I was being
Possible spelling mistake found.
nitpicky
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of all these, I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappointed and furious and I even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of cancelling my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
membership,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since I have been a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
for such a long time, I decided to stay and discuss this issue with the higher management. I,
firstly
, want you to discipline your new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they follow maintenance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
all the time, and
also
I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
conditions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, and I am sure I am not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one who feels this way.

Thanks,

Truly
,

Brent
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS letter You have recently visited a sports centre and discovered some problems and the poor condition of a changing room there. You have made a complaint earlier, but still no action was taken. Write a letter to the facility manager about it. In your letter– De v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
241 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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