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You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports centre that you visit. Write s letter to the sports centre manager. v.2

You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports centre that you visit. Write s letter to the sports centre manager. v. 2
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with the condition of the changing room at a sports centre. I am giving yoga classes at this sports centre since one year. I want to bring your attention that the condition of the changing room is below level. Firstly, there is no proper drainage system for the water. Secondly, there is a horrible smell in the changing rooms most of the time. It seems that the rooms are not being cleaned properly by the cleaning staff. Moreover, some of the tiles on the floor are broken and paint has been removed from the walls. Last but not least, some of the doors are not looked accurately and sometimes it is creating obstacles for the girls and women. I would like you to ensure that rooms are cleaned on a regular basis and room freshener is also provided to the cleaning staff. Install ventilators in the rooms to prevent the foul smell and keep the environment of the sports centre healthy. I would like to receive a prompt response from your side. Yours faithfully, Ravi.
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with the condition of the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
at a sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. I am giving yoga classes at this sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
since one year.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
want to bring your attention that the condition of the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is below level.
Firstly
, there is no proper drainage system for the water.
Secondly
, there is a horrible smell in the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
most of the time. It seems that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
are not
being cleaned
properly
by the cleaning staff.
Moreover
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
tiles on the floor
are broken
and paint has
been removed
from the walls. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
doors are not looked
accurately
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is creating obstacles for the girls and women.

I would like you to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
are cleaned
on a regular basis and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
freshener is
also
provided to the cleaning staff. Install ventilators in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the foul smell and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the environment of the sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
healthy.

I would like to receive a prompt response from your side.

Yours
faithfully
,

Ravi.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS letter You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports centre that you visit. Write s letter to the sports centre manager. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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