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You have recently got involved in a car accident and there was damage to both your car and your health. Fortunately you have both car premium insurance as well as health insurance. Write a letter to the insurance manager: Explaining your membership details v.2

You have recently got involved in a car accident and there was damage to both your car and your health. Fortunately you have both car premium insurance as well as health insurance. Write a letter to the insurance manager: Explaining your membership details v. 2

Dear Sir, My name is Alex Ferguson and I am a premium health insurance member of your company, Delta Insurance. In addition to this, my vehicle also has full coverage insurance with Insurance no. 249999. I am writing to you to claim monetary benefits due to a recent accident that happened while I was driving my car. Last week, on a foggy Monday, I was driving to downtown London on the 20th August, 2018, when suddenly a truck started to skid on the icy road. In order to avoid crashing into the truck, I pushed my car brake down hard, however, due to the momentum of the car, it continued on for a couple of seconds, hitting the car at more than 20 kilometers per hour. There was a deafening noise and the airbag went off. My hand hit the side window and the bone on my right shoulder got dislocated. I was hospitalized after an ambulance rushed me to the hospital. The police filed a full report of the accident, which is inserted inside the envelope with this letter. They reviewed CCTV footage from the area and concluded that I was not at fault for the incident. Hence, as per with your rules and regulations, I am expecting full coverage of my vehicle repair and my own medical fees, the bills of which are attached in an e-mail to you. Since I have a premium membership, hence I am expecting you to provide me the promised service once the incident is investigated from your company. With Regards.

Dear Sir,

My name is Alex Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).Ferguson, and
Ferguson and
 I am a premium health You use this word too often, consider replacing it withallowancecoverageguarantee
insurance
 member of your This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
, Delta You use this word too often, consider replacing it withallowancecoverageguarantee
Insurance
. In addition
 to this, my vehicle also
 has full coverage You use this word too often, consider replacing it withallowancecoverageguarantee
insurance
 with You use this word too often, consider replacing it withallowancecoverageguarantee
Insurance
 no. 249999. I am writing to you to claim monetary benefits due to a recent accident that happened while I was driving my car.

Last week, on a foggy Monday, I was driving to downtown London on the 20th When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "August 2018".August 2018
August, 2018
, when suddenly
 a truck This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiated
started
 to skid on the icy road. In order to avoid crashing into the truck, I pushed my car brake down This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
, however
, due to the momentum of the car, it continued on for a couple of seconds, hitting the car at more than 20 kilometers per hour. There was a deafening noise and the airbag went off. My hand hit the side window and the bone on my right shoulder This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquired
got
 dislocated. I was hospitalized
 after an ambulance rushed me to the hospital.

The police filed a full report of the accident, which is inserted
 inside the envelope with this letter. They reviewed CCTV footage from the area and concluded that I was not at fault for the incident. Hence
, as per with your This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :requirements
rules
 and regulations, I am expecting full coverage of my vehicle repair and my This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 medical fees, the bills of which are attached
 in an e-mail to you. Since I have a premium membership, hence
 I am expecting you to provide me the promised service once the incident is investigated
 from your This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
.

With Regards. 

5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You have recently got involved in a car accident and there was damage to both your car and your health. Fortunately you have both car premium insurance as well as health insurance. Write a letter to the insurance manager: Explaining your membership details v. 2

Letter

American English

5 paragraphs

258 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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