Dear Mr. Lopez,
I am writing with regard to a DVD you have asked me about in your letter which I have received from your shop. First of all, it is necessary to remind you that I rented a comedy film, Funny Moments, on the 3rd of July. Then I returned it the following weak on the 10th of July as you wanted me to do. In addition, when I wanted to return the DVD, I could not find you in the shop and just your assistant was there. Therefore, I had to give it to him.
When I received your letter, I was so surprised. As you know, I have always been one of your on time costumers.
It might be the mistake of your assistant because when I arrived shop to return the DVD, he was too busy and the shop was too crowded. On top of these, he was calling on the phone. Could you check your inventory once again and ask your assistant carefully. It is possible, he has forgotten where has put. If you find it, please inform me.
I expect to hear good news from you.
Sincerely,
Sarah Smith
Dear Mr. Lopez,
I am writing with regard to a DVD you have asked me about in your letter which I have received from your
shop
.
First of all
, it is necessary to remind you that I rented a comedy film,
Funny
Moments, on the 3rd of July. Then I returned it the following weak on the 10th of July as you wanted me to do.
In addition
, when I wanted to return the DVD, I could not find you in the
shop
and
just
your assistant was there.
Therefore
, I had to give it to him.
When I received your letter, I was
so
surprised. As you know, I have always been one of your on time costumers.
It might be the mistake of your assistant
because
when I arrived
shop
to return the DVD, he was too busy and the
shop
was too crowded. On top of these, he was calling on the phone. Could you
check
your inventory once again and ask your assistant
carefully
. It is possible, he has forgotten where has put. If you find it,
please
inform me.
I
expect
to hear
good
news from you.
Sincerely
,
Sarah Smith
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes