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You have received a bill from a mobile phone company for international call charges relating to a time when you did not use your phone for international calls. v.2

You have received a bill from a mobile phone company for international call charges relating to a time when you did not use your phone for international calls. v. 2
Dear Sir/Madam, I have been satisfied customer for several years. I am writing regarding that I have received October month bill which include INR 4500 for Internation call charges. In fact this is really unsatisfying for the following reasons. At no time have I used this phone to make international call which any of the countries. However, my parents, friends and my relatives are here only, so I have made only STD calls. Eventhough I have checked my call summary and I don' t find even single record that I made International call. As you see there is no possible reason to put international call charges. I therefore request you to draw these changes and please generate my revise bill accordingly. Also please write has been actioned and send me a soft copy to my register mail also send me a bill to my address as well. I look forward to receiving your confirmation that all is in order. Yours faithfully, S. John.
Dear Sir/Madam,

I have
been satisfied
customer for several years. I am writing regarding that I have received October month bill which
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
include


INR 4500 for Internation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
charges. In fact this is
really
unsatisfying for the following reasons.

At no time have I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
this phone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
which any of the countries.
However
, my parents, friends and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
relatives are here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I have made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
STD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
summary and I
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t find even
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
single


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
record
that I made International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there is no possible reason to put international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
charges.

I
therefore
request you to draw these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
generate my revise bill
accordingly
.
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
write has
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
been


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
actioned
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me a soft copy to my register mail
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me a bill to my address
as well
.

I look forward to receiving your confirmation that all is in order.

Yours
faithfully
,

S. John.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS letter You have received a bill from a mobile phone company for international call charges relating to a time when you did not use your phone for international calls. v. 2

Letter
  American English
11 paragraphs
163 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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