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You have bought a food processor in a store just a few days ago and it doesn’t work properly. Write a letter to the manager to complain about it and ask him to solve the problem v.2

You have bought a food processor in a store just a few days ago and it doesn’t work properly. Write a letter to the manager to complain about it and ask him to solve the problem v. 2
Dear Sir/Madam, The reason I am writing to you is poor quality of a food processor, which I bought in your store two weeks ago. After only two times it was in use, problems started to appear. The first malfunction that I noticed was safety lock that demanded applying of great force. My wife had to ask me for help, because she wasn’t strong enough to push the safety lock through. We discovered another problem when tried to use the blender. I put some ice-cream and milk in the blender and pushed the “Start” button. It started working but suddenly got stuck and we were unable to use it since. I was very surprised to discover that much problems in a quite expensive model. Naturally, I returned the blender to you to be replaced with a new one. Your assistant said that I would have to wait only a week. After two weeks the food processor had still not arrived. Finally, four weeks later, I was contacted by your representative. Imagine my feelings when I learned from him that I can not receive the same model of food processor as I bought. As a solution he offered that I upgrade my model to a better one and this too will take two weeks. I am very disappointed with both the equipment and the service have I received. Therefore I expect a full refund of 180$ as soon as possible. Yours faithfully, Mr. Smith.
Dear Sir/Madam,

The reason I am writing to you is poor quality of a food processor, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in your store two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
ago. After
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two times it was in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to appear.

The
first
malfunction that I noticed was safety lock that demanded applying of great force. My wife had to ask me for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she wasn’t strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to push the safety lock through. We discovered another problem when tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the blender. I put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ice-cream and milk in the blender and pushed the “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Start
” button. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stuck and
we were unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it since. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
surprised to discover that
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
problems in a quite expensive model.

Naturally
, I returned the blender to you to
be replaced
with a new one. Your assistant said that I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
the food processor had
still
not arrived.
Finally
, four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
later, I
was contacted
by your representative. Imagine my feelings when I learned from him that I can not receive the same model of food processor as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
. As a solution he offered that I upgrade my model to a better one and this too will take two weeks.

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappointed with both the equipment and the service have I received.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a full refund of
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$180".
180$
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Yours
faithfully
,

Mr. Smith.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS letter You have bought a food processor in a store just a few days ago and it doesn’t work properly. Write a letter to the manager to complain about it and ask him to solve the problem v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
243 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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