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Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain shop. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and still, it is not ready. v.1

Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain shop. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and still, it is not ready. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, Two weeks ago I purchased a brand new Revo radio from your store on Baker Street. I was excited to have it but very disappointed to find that the product was poorly produced and unusable. Even after I returned it to your store last Monday to claim the warranty, I have not heard anything yet. I am hoping you will either repair or replace it. In relation to the specifics of the order, I purchased this Revo Super Signal Deluxe AM/FM Radio from one of your Revo brand shops on August 17th using cash. The order number is 9542105 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt. The issue with the radio is that I am unable to tune in to any FM radio channel and the sound quality is poor. I’m sure this is a manufacturing flaw. As a solution, and because I really like the model and functionality of this radio, I am hoping that you will agree to repair the issues or provide me with a fresh one. Otherwise, I would like a full refund and I will be contacting the Consumer Rights Bureau if I do not hear back from you in regards to this within a week. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Robert Henry
Dear Sir or Madam,

Two weeks ago I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a brand new
Possible spelling mistake found.
Revo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
from your store on Baker Street. I
was excited
to have it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappointed to find that the product was
poorly
produced and unusable. Even after I returned it to your store last Monday to claim the warranty, I have not heard anything
yet
. I am hoping you will either repair or replace it.

In relation to the specifics of the order, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
Revo
Super Signal Deluxe AM/FM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Radio
from one of your
Possible spelling mistake found.
Revo
brand shops on August 17th using cash. The order number is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
9542105 and
I am attaching a copy of my receipt.

The issue with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is that I am unable to tune in to any FM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
channel and the sound quality is poor. I’m sure this is a manufacturing flaw.

As a solution, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
really
like the model and functionality of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
, I am hoping that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to repair the issues or provide me with a fresh one.
Otherwise
, I would like a full refund and I will be contacting the Consumer Rights Bureau if I do not hear back from you
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
this within a week.

Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Robert Henry
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS letter Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain shop. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and still, it is not ready. v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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