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You had recently bought a new laptop. It is giving you troubles. It is not working properly. You have called at the customer care centre but youare not satisfied with the solution offered by customer care executive. Write a letter to the store manager. In v.2

You had recently bought a new laptop. It is giving you troubles. It is not working properly. You have called at the customer care centre but youare not satisfied with the solution offered by customer care executive. Write a letter to the store manager. In v. 2
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to express my displeasure with the resolution given by customer care executive for my laptop. I bought a laptop of dell make from your riverside store on 15th June 2018 with two years of onsite warranty for all parts including display panel. Following purchase, I installed the software programs for word, power-point and music player application. For couple of days, it worked fine and did not find any issues at all. Since last Saturday, laptop started to shutdown abruptly though battery was full charged. Initially, I thought it could be the software issues, thereupon, I uninstalled all the programs but problem remained the same. In order to find a solution, I contacted to helpdesk given on receipt and it was surprised to know that my laptop serial number was not enlisted in sold inventory. On further humble request, Mr James, a customer care executive agreed to listen my problem and advised to re-start the laptop which was already done by me. Further Mr. James declined to help and asked me to contact Dell engineering team. Obviously, the solution provided by executive did not relate to my issues and did not resolve the issue as well. Therefore, I request you to send qualified engineer for repairing my laptop as it is still under warranty. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, TOM
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to express my displeasure with the resolution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by customer care executive for my laptop.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
of dell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
from your riverside store on 15th June 2018 with two years of onsite warranty for all parts including display panel. Following
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, I installed the software programs for word, power-point and music player application. For
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
days, it worked fine and did not find any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
at all.

Since last Saturday,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Did you mean "to shut down"?
to shutdown
abruptly
though battery was full charged.
Initially
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it could be the software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, thereupon, I uninstalled all the programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
problem remained the same. In order to find a solution, I contacted to
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpdesk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
on receipt and it
was surprised
to know that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
serial number was not enlisted in sold inventory. On
further
humble request, Mr James, a customer care executive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to listen my problem and advised to re-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
which was already done by me.
Further
Mr. James declined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and asked me to contact Dell engineering team.
Obviously
, the solution provided by executive did not relate to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and did not resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
as well
.

Therefore
, I request you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
qualified engineer for repairing my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
as it is
still
under warranty.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours
faithfully
,

TOM
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS letter You had recently bought a new laptop. It is giving you troubles. It is not working properly. You have called at the customer care centre but youare not satisfied with the solution offered by customer care executive. Write a letter to the store manager. In v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
230 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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