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You have applied to a course at a college in Australia, but you still have not received the reply. Write a letter to state: •The details of the course•Why you choose the course•Why you need the reply soon v.2

You have applied to a course at a college in Australia, but you still have not received the reply. Write a letter to state: •The details of the course•Why you choose the course•Why you need the reply soon v. 2
Respected Sir/Madam Through this letter, I want to draw your kind attention to one of the admission letter received by your University by the name Harshita Jaitly for Masters in Hospitality course. Its a nine month course and I have applied under the category of International Student. I cleared all the eligibility requirements and was asked to submit my recommendations before recieving an admission letter from your side. Its unfortunate that its been 3 weeks and I have not received any further information. I have done my graduation in the same field and as your University is world renowned in Hospitality sector, I wish to do a masters degree from there. The hospitality department provides an exclusive career opportunities and the candidate receives a lot of exposure to different culture as well. It would be helpful if I receive an intimation from your side. As, I have applied under the category of International Student, I will be needing 2-3 months to complete my visa and passport related formalities. The application processing time for international students is already more, So it will help me be well prepared for the next stage without any delays. It will be kind of you to update my application status. I hope, you will do the needful. Thanking You Regards
Respected Sir/Madam

Through this letter, I want to draw your kind attention to one of the admission letter received by your University by the name
Possible spelling mistake found.
Harshita
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jaitly
for Masters in Hospitality course.
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "nine-month"
nine month
course and I have applied under the category of International Student.

I cleared all the eligibility requirements and
was asked
to submit my recommendations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieving
an admission letter from your side. Its unfortunate that
Did you mean "it's" (="it has") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
been 3 weeks and I have not received any
further
information. I have done my graduation in the same field and as your University is world renowned in Hospitality sector, I wish to do a
For an academic degree, use "master’s".
masters
degree from there. The hospitality department provides an exclusive career opportunities and the candidate receives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture
as well
.

It would be helpful if I receive an intimation from your side. As, I have applied under the category of International Student, I will
The verb 'needing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be needing
2-3 months to complete my visa and passport related formalities. The application processing time for international students is already more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
for the
next
stage without any delays. It will be kind of you to update my application status.

I hope, you will do the needful.

Thanking You

Regards
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS letter You have applied to a course at a college in Australia, but you still have not received the reply. Write a letter to state: •The details of the course•Why you choose the course•Why you need the reply soon v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
213 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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