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You cannot go to a company where you got an offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor to: » Explain the reason why you decline the offer» Express your gratitude» Explain why you like your current job very much. v.7

You cannot go to a company where you got an offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor to: » Explain the reason why you decline the offer» Express your gratitude» Explain why you like your current job very much. v. 7
Dear Sir, I am writing to decline your generous job offer for the position of the Database Administrator. I am a potential candidate to whom you made a job offer. I would like to extend my thanks for such an offer, especially in such a company with good reputation. However, I have to reject your business proposal due to the responsibilities that I have at my current job. I am involved with a project that is an order of one of the best clients of my company and consequently I cannot leave the project. It was an honor for me to be chosen by a renowned company such yours. It proves that I was qualified enough to get the position and furthermore, my knowledge in computer and technology is appropriate for the mentioned job. Through the course of three years in Smith Company I have learnt an incredible amount and I believe that it is time for me to do something for this company by using my knowledge and experience in this field. Once again I would like to thank you for your job offer. Yours sincerely, Rahi Honarvar
Dear Sir,

I am writing to decline your generous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer for the position of the Database Administrator.

I am a potential candidate to whom you made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like to extend my thanks for such an offer,
especially
in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation.
However
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reject your business proposal due to the responsibilities that I have at my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I
am involved
with a project
that is
an order of one of the best clients of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
consequently
I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the project.

It was an honor for me to
be chosen
by a renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
such yours. It proves that I
was qualified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the position and
furthermore
, my knowledge in computer and technology is appropriate for the mentioned job.

Through the course of three years in Smith
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt an
incredible amount and I believe that it is time for me to do something for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
by using my knowledge and experience in this field.

Once again I would like to thank you for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rahi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Honarvar
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS letter You cannot go to a company where you got an offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor to: » Explain the reason why you decline the offer» Express your gratitude» Explain why you like your current job very much. v. 7

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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