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You are working for a company and you need to take down tine off work and want to ask your manager about this v.2

You are working for a company and you need to take down tine off work and want to ask your manager about this v. 2
Dear Mr. Harry, I am writing to ask for some days off next week. I actually went to see my dentist last weekend due to incessant tooth ache and the tooth x-ray revealed that I have an undergrowth, beneath my lower right cavity, on which the last two molar teeth rests. I will actually need Thursday and Friday next week off, as those are the only days available for me to be operated upon. The surgeon only comes on Thursdays and Fridays. I would be back in the office by the following Monday. As regards my job, Miss Vera has agreed to take on my responsibilities for those two weeks, as we actually share same job role. Any job she cannot handle, I will attend to them though the company' s intranet and I would put in extra hours when I resume if occasion warrants it I hope the short leave will be granted so I could attend to my health. Yours sincerely, Favour Blessing
Dear Mr. Harry,

I am writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days off
next
week. I actually went to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my dentist last weekend due to incessant tooth ache and the tooth x-ray revealed that I have an undergrowth, beneath my lower right cavity, on which the last two molar teeth rests.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will actually need Thursday and Friday
next
week off, as those are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
days available for me to
be operated
upon. The surgeon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
on Thursdays and Fridays. I would be back in the office by the following Monday.

As regards my job, Miss Vera has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to take on my responsibilities for those two weeks, as we actually share same job role. Any job she cannot handle, I will attend to them though the
Possible spelling mistake found.
company&
#039; s intranet and I would put in extra hours when I resume if occasion warrants
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it


I hope the short
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
will
be granted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I could attend to my health.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake. 'Favour' is British English.
Favour
Blessing
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS letter You are working for a company and you need to take down tine off work and want to ask your manager about this v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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