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You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. v.3

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. v. 3
Dear Lindsay, I am writing to request some unpaid leave next month and I am hoping you would permit me to take the leave. My parents' 50th wedding anniversary is on November 21st, and they are planning to celebrate this significant achievement with all their children and grandchildren. To do this, they have rented a house big enough to accommodate the whole family. To participate in this special occasion, I would need to be away from work for four days, from Monday, 19th to Thursday 23rd. My schedule for that week is relatively light, apart from two meetings with clients. Netta would be able to attend these in my place, as she has had previous dealings with both companies and knows the relevant staff there. I have no other urgent work commitments at that time. I would be very grateful if you could allow me this time. These few days are very important to my parents and the whole family, and it would be a way to thank them for all the support they have given me. Best regards, Caroline
Dear Lindsay,

I am writing to request
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unpaid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
next
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
month and
I am hoping you would permit me to take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.

My parents' 50th wedding anniversary is on November 21st, and they are planning to celebrate this significant achievement with all their children and grandchildren. To do this, they have rented a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to accommodate the whole family.

To participate in this special occasion, I would need to be away from work for four days, from Monday, 19th to Thursday 23rd. My schedule for that week is
relatively
light, apart from two meetings with clients.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netta
would be able to attend these in my place, as she has had previous dealings with both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and knows the relevant staff there. I have no other urgent work commitments at that time.

I would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
grateful if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me this time. These few days are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to my parents and the whole family, and it would be a way to thank them for all the support they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me.

Best regards,

Caroline
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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