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the bar chart shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. v.1

the bar chart shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. v. 1
the bar graph compares four various types of digital games in terms of the sales of them around the globe over the course of 7 years, starting in 2000. overall, we can obviously see that the general trend of digital games' sales was increasing annually with the exception of console games. During the period, it is obvious that handheld games registered the highest sales which was at least double any of other games. according to the chart, handheld games were experienced dramatic growth keeping it the most popular games among other game types. Handheld games were sold nearly 12 billion in 2000 then rose quickly 18 billions in 2006. Even though, online games and mobile phone games appeared later in the global market later than the others but those inclined steadily over the years. in 2002, those two games registered the same figures around 1. 5 billions. the next 6 years, the increase was seen in selling those two games about 8 and 9 billions, respectively. In comparison, in 2000, handhold games were sold a large quantity with precisely 6 billions, which was 2 times lower than the sales of console games at the same time. However, there was a decline in selling console games with more or less than 3 billionss in 2006.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar graph compares four various types of digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of them around the globe over the course of 7 years, starting in 2000.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, we can
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the general trend of digital
Possible spelling mistake found.
games&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was increasing
annually
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. During the period, it is obvious that handheld
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games
registered the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
which was at least double any of other games.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to the chart, handheld
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games
were experienced
dramatic growth keeping it the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
among other game types. Handheld
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games
were sold
nearly
12
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billion
in 2000 then rose
quickly
18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
in 2006.
Even though
, online
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games
and mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
appeared later in the global market later than the others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those inclined
steadily
over the years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
2002, those two
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games
registered the same figures around 1. 5
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billions
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
next
6 years, the increase was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in selling those two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
about 8 and 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
,
respectively
.

In comparison
, in 2000, handhold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were sold
a large quantity with
precisely
6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
, which was 2 times lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at the same time.
However
, there was a decline in selling console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with more or less than 3
Possible spelling mistake found.
billionss
in 2006.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter the bar chart shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. v. 1

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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