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You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports center that you visit. Write a letter to the manager, What the problem isHow you feel about the problemWhat steps you want the manager to take v.2

You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports center that you visit. Write a letter to the manager, What the problem isHow you feel about the problemWhat steps you want the manager to take v. 2
I am writing this letter to complain you about the problems which I have faced, when I visited your sports center. I was very enthralled, when I came to know that our sport match has been organized in your sports center. However, as we entered in the changing room, locks of the locker facility were working improperly which was quite disturbing. I felt miserable because we all had travelled from other cities and we were unable to keep our personal belongings such as, mobile phones and wallets at safer place. Moreover, I have heard many good things about your sports center and it was unexpected from prestigious firm like yours. I would like to recommend you several things to untangle this problem. Firstly, you should repair your locks as early as possible. Secondly, you can also purchase electric locker room in which you do not have to worry about the locking mechanism. I hope, you will address this issue as soon as possible and reply me at your earliest convenience. Yours faithfully, Mohit Ratnu
I am writing this letter to complain you about the problems which I have faced, when I visited your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center.

I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enthralled, when I came to know that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
match has
been organized
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center.
However
, as we
There isn't usually a preposition after "entered". Did you mean "entered the changing"?
entered in the changing
room, locks of the locker facility were working
improperly
which was quite disturbing.

I felt miserable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we all had travelled from other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cities and
we were unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our personal belongings such as, mobile phones and wallets at safer place.
Moreover
, I have heard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things about your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center and it
was unexpected
from prestigious firm like yours.

I would like to recommend you several things to untangle this problem.
Firstly
, you should repair your locks as early as possible.
Secondly
, you can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
electric locker room in which you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the locking mechanism.

I hope, you will address this issue as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible and reply me at your earliest convenience.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ratnu
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter You are not satisfied with the changing room in a sports center that you visit. Write a letter to the manager, What the problem isHow you feel about the problemWhat steps you want the manager to take v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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