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You are moving to a new country, write a letter to the accommodation agency to rent a house. In your letter, describe: •yourself and your family•which area you would like to live in•and what facilities you need in the house v.2

You are moving to a new country, write a letter to the accommodation agency to rent a house. In your letter, describe: •yourself and your family•which area you would like to live in•and what facilities you need in the house v. 2
Dear Sir: Good Day. I am writing this letter in order to inform you that I am moving to India next month. I have already communicated with your local agent about the accommodation and they have advised me to contact with you. I am currently working as a banker in a multinational bank. The Company has decided to make me a regional manager of Delhi. To shift there they have given me a month time. Within this short period I am quite doubtful about finding a proper residence to accommodate my wife and baby girl. My office will be at central point of Delhi. However, I need a calm place to live in but not so far away from my office. In Bangladesh, I am living in an apartment where I have got 24 hours security service. The water and gas supply is uninterrupted. There is geyser and bathtub facility at the washroom. Now as I am shifting in India with my family I will be needed the same facilities accordingly. I will be needed 2 rooms. Another thing is, I need the house/apartment to be fully furnished. I can afford INR 27000/month. I have heard that your company has a reputation to serve clients with a very positive feedback. I am looking forward to get reply from you soon. Regards, Rafiur Rahman.
Dear Sir:

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
Day.

I am writing this letter in order to inform you that I am moving to India
next
month. I have already communicated with your local agent about the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
accommodation and
they have advised me to contact with you.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
currently
working as a banker in a multinational bank. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
has decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me a regional manager of Delhi. To shift there they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me a month time. Within this short period I am quite doubtful about finding a proper residence to accommodate my wife and baby girl. My office will be at central point of Delhi.
However
, I need a calm place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far away from my office.

In Bangladesh, I am living in an apartment where I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
24 hours security service. The water and gas supply
is uninterrupted
. There is geyser and bathtub facility at the washroom.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
as I am shifting in India with my family I will
be needed
the same facilities
accordingly
. I will
be needed
2 rooms. Another thing is, I need the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
/apartment to be
fully
furnished. I can afford INR 27000/month.

I have heard that your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has a reputation to serve clients with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedback.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am looking forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reply from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rafiur
Rahman.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS letter You are moving to a new country, write a letter to the accommodation agency to rent a house. In your letter, describe: •yourself and your family•which area you would like to live in•and what facilities you need in the house v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
223 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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