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You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. v.5

You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. v. 5
Dear Sir or Madam, I am very grateful to you for the job opportunity as an internal auditor in your organisation - KSM Chartered Accountants. I am supposed to join on November 1st, however, I regret to inform you that I can not join on the pre-agreed date. I sincerely apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. Please let me take a moment to elaborate on why I will not be able to join your organisation on the date previously planned. Unfortunately, last week while playing football with some old friends, I severely sprained my ankle. I was rushed to the hospital immediately and took medical care for the next few days. Since my condition is critical and the doctor advised me not to walk for the next few days, it will be practically impossible for me to join your company on the stipulated date. I trust you can understand my dire circumstances. If possible, I would like to postpone my joining date by two weeks and start my work from 15th November. I hope you would allow me to join two weeks later than previously planned so that I can concentrate on my work immediately after joining your office. Looking forward to your reply. Sameed Qureshi
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
grateful to you for the job opportunity as an internal auditor in your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
KSM Chartered Accountants. I
am supposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
on November 1st,
however
, I regret to inform you that I can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
on the pre-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
date.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
sincerely
Possible spelling mistake. 'apologise' is British English.
apologise
for any inconvenience this may cause.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me take a moment to elaborate on why I will not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
on the date previously planned. Unfortunately, last week while playing football with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends, I
severely
sprained my ankle. I
was rushed
to the hospital immediately and took medical care for the
next
few days. Since my condition is critical and the doctor advised me not to walk for the
next
few days, it will be
practically
impossible for me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
on the stipulated date.

I trust you can understand my dire circumstances. If possible, I would like to postpone my joining date by two weeks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my work from 15th November. I hope you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
join
two weeks later than previously planned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can concentrate on my work immediately after joining your office.

Looking forward to your reply.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sameed
Qureshi
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS letter You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. v. 5

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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