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You are a student in a college but you are having some serious problem about the school information desk. Write letter to manager of university, -Explain what is wrong with it-Suggest some adiveces what they should do. v.2

You are a student in a college but you are having some serious problem about the school information desk. Write letter to manager of university, -Explain what is wrong with it-Suggest some adiveces what they should do. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to give some information about our the college help-desk and to suggest a few advices in order to improve the structure of it to help to students and all employees of the university. As you probably hear that the information desk has been complained many times by both pupils and parents due to inappropriate style and useless position in compared to all colleges. According to them, first and major problem is that students could not contact with it when they need to it and whenever they call the support desk, any one do not answer the calling. An another problem related to it is that the table is so far distance from all class' which it make inaccessible. As a junior students, we would be grateful if you could take some measurements. For example, it would perfect if it build up near to dormitory of students and campus center. On the other hand, it could be perfect idea of having self-service laptops on the desk not to lost much more time to solve our problems. I look forward to hearing from you positive response in the near future. Your Faithfully. Gokhan
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to give
some
information about our the college
help
-desk and to suggest a few advices in order to
improve
the structure of it to
help
to
students
and all employees of the university.

As you
probably
hear that the information desk has
been complained
many
times by both pupils and parents due to inappropriate style and useless position in compared to all colleges. According to them,
first
and major problem is that
students
could not contact with it when they need to it and whenever they call the support desk,
any one
do not answer the calling.
An another problem
related to it is that the table is
so
far distance from all
class&
#039; which it
make
inaccessible.

As a junior
students
, we would be grateful if you could take
some
measurements.
For example
, it would perfect if it
build
up near to dormitory of
students
and campus center.
On the other hand
, it could be perfect
idea
of having self-service laptops on the desk not
to lost
much more time to solve our problems.

I look forward to hearing from you
positive
response in the near future.

Your
Faithfully
.

Gokhan
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS letter You are a student in a college but you are having some serious problem about the school information desk. Write letter to manager of university, -Explain what is wrong with it-Suggest some adiveces what they should do. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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