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You went to a museum with your elderly friend last week. However, he/she found it difficult to walk around the museum. Write a letter to the manager and say: whom did you visit the museum with? what problems/inconveniences did he/she face? also, suggest sol v.2

You went to a museum with your elderly friend last week. However, he/she found it difficult to walk around the museum. Write a letter to the manager and say: whom did you visit the museum with? what problems/inconveniences did he/she face? also, suggest sol v. 2
Dear Sir/Madam, We have been living in the city for quite a long time and your museum has been the must go place for our family members in every month. So, when my friend’s grandfather visited our city, we brought him along with us to visit the museum. Initially, he was very content with the feel of the place but got irritated because there were no places to sit. We felt an urgent need for more places to sit in the museum. The second time he looked at us with pleading eyes was when we were having lunch at the museum. The food items were good for us, but they were a bit too oily for my grandfather. After six hours of visit, he felt tired and hungry. Had there been some fruits and juice center, it would have helped a lot. The concerns might seem bit obvious but when interacting with other elderly people, I found similar feedback. Your museum has a good reputation in general, I hope these suggestions will help you in improving the experience of the museum. I look forward to hearing a positive respond from you in the near future. Your sincerely.
Dear Sir/Madam,

We have been living in the city for quite a long time and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has been the
It appears that a hypen is missing.
must go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for our family members in every month.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when my friend’s grandfather visited our city, we brought him along with us to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
Initially
, he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
content with the feel of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
irritated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there were no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to sit. We felt an urgent need for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to sit in the museum.

The second time he looked at us with pleading eyes was when we were having lunch at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. The food items were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were a bit too oily for my grandfather. After six hours of visit, he felt tired and hungry. Had there been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fruits and juice center, it would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a lot.

The concerns might seem
It seems that an article is missing.
bit
obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when interacting with other elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, I found similar feedback. Your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation
in general
, I hope these suggestions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you in improving the experience of the museum.

I look forward to hearing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
respond from you in the near future.

Your
sincerely
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You went to a museum with your elderly friend last week. However, he/she found it difficult to walk around the museum. Write a letter to the manager and say: whom did you visit the museum with? what problems/inconveniences did he/she face? also, suggest sol v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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