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You and you friend had booked theatre tickets two weeks back, but you cannot go with him, Write a letter to, 1-Apologize2-Explain the reason3-Suggest him what he can do with your ticket v.2

You and you friend had booked theatre tickets two weeks back, but you cannot go with him, Write a letter to, 1-Apologize2-Explain the reason3-Suggest him what he can do with your ticket v. 2
Dear James, I hope this letter finds you in best of your health. I am extremely disappointed that I have to write it down to you that unfortunately, I won’t be able to accompany you to our favorite comedy theatre, for which we bought tickets couple of weeks ago. I can imagine, how sad you would be by knowing this, but keep in mind that I am equally disappointed as well and I apologize for ruining up the whole plan. I had my exam booked in for 6th of April and normally viva happens the next day of the exam but they have scheduled my viva on 2nd of April, exactly the day we were supposed to be together for the comedy show at theatre. This is very unusual schedule, never happened before and there must be a very good reason for that, which I don’t know as yet. I have rang up the theatre management and they said, anybody can use my ticket. I was thinking if you could take Paul with you, since he was pretty excited as well to go with us, but we couldn’t find a ticket for him. I promise, in the next show, I would have a good look at my schedule and would go again together.
Dear James,

I hope this letter finds you in best of your health. I am
extremely
disappointed that I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
write it down to you that unfortunately, I won’t be able to accompany you to our favorite comedy
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, for which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
tickets
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
weeks ago.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
can imagine, how sad you would be by knowing this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that I am
equally
disappointed
as well
and I apologize for ruining up the whole plan.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
had my exam booked in for 6th of April and
normally
viva happens the
next
day of the exam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have scheduled my viva on 2nd of April, exactly the day we
were supposed
to be together for the comedy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
at
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unusual schedule, never happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason for that, which I don’t know as
yet
.

I have
Use past participle here: "rung".
rang
up the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
management and
they said, anybody can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my ticket. I was thinking if you could take Paul with you, since he was pretty excited
as well
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we couldn’t find a ticket for him.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
promise, in the
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
, I would have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
look at my schedule and would go again together.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS letter You and you friend had booked theatre tickets two weeks back, but you cannot go with him, Write a letter to, 1-Apologize2-Explain the reason3-Suggest him what he can do with your ticket v. 2

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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