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As an international student in London, you have an account with a local bank. The monthly bank transfer you receive from your parents has been delayed this month due to an error at your parents’ bank. Write a letter to your bank. In your letter: introdu v.2

As an international student in London, you have an account with a local bank. The monthly bank transfer you receive from your parents has been delayed this month due to an error at your parents’ bank. Write a letter to your bank. In your letter: introdu v. 2
Dear Sir, My name is John, pursuing my post graduation at Standford university. My university enrollment number is 07654 and I am writing this letter to request you for an urgent loan to pay the term fee at the college. There was an issue with the overseas bank while my parents are transferring money to your bank account. The college fee has to be paid within 5 days else, I won' t be allowed to attend the classes and management will prohibit me to write the exams. If you could lend me the money as a loan for 6000 dollars, I could pay the loan immediately after recieving money from my parents which wont take more than 10 days as per the abroad' s bank' s officials. Please let me know the interest I have to pay along with amount. For your reference I am attaching you my account number and the fee last date notification advertisement published by the University in the last month. Account Number: 000-876-2145 Branch: City Center I hope you can understand the situation and grant me the loan I required. Thanks, John.
Dear Sir,

My name is John, pursuing my post graduation at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Standford
university. My university enrollment number is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
07654 and
I am writing this letter to request you for an urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
to pay the term fee at the college. There was an issue with the overseas bank while my parents are transferring money to your bank account.

The college fee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be paid
within 5 days else, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to attend the classes and management will prohibit me to write the exams.

If you could lend me the money as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
for 6000 dollars, I could pay the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
immediately after
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieving
money from my parents which
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
take more than 10 days as per the
Possible spelling mistake found.
abroad&
#039; s
Possible spelling mistake found.
bank&
#039; s officials.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know the interest I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay along with amount. For your reference I am attaching you my account number and the fee last date notification advertisement published by the University in the last month.

Account Number: 000-876-2145

Branch: City Center

I hope you can understand the situation and grant me the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
I required.

Thanks,

John.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS letter As an international student in London, you have an account with a local bank. The monthly bank transfer you receive from your parents has been delayed this month due to an error at your parents’ bank. Write a letter to your bank. In your letter: introdu v. 2

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
187 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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