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Write to college accomodation officer for renting room in your apartment. Tell where is your apartmentDescribe your roomWhat kind of person you prefer v.2

Write to college accomodation officer for renting room in your apartment. Tell where is your apartmentDescribe your roomWhat kind of person you prefer v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to seek your assistance in regards of renting my available room in the apartment. As my apartment is quite near to your college. It' s exactly apposite to Dalla Cafe in the main hub of busy town on the opposite road of college. It might be of interest to some students interested to stay near college and want to avoid traveling cost. Further, room is very big with built in cupboard and mounted curtains. Walls lights are installed as well other facilities wi-fi, fridge, washing machine, microwave and land-line telephone is available as well. A separate bathroom is available also. I will prefer a mature person who is having less visitors. Responsible for keeping his room and toilet clean. I will look forward to hear from you. Your faithfully. Linda Joy
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to seek your assistance
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards of
renting my available room in the apartment.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
my apartment is quite near to your college.
Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s exactly apposite to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dalla
'Cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
Cafe
in the main hub of busy town on the opposite road of college. It might be of interest to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students interested to stay near college and want to avoid traveling cost.

Further
, room is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
with built in cupboard and mounted curtains. Walls lights
are installed
as well
other facilities
Possible spelling mistake found.
wi-fi
, fridge, washing machine, microwave and land-line telephone is available
as well
. A separate bathroom is available
also
.

I will prefer a mature person who is having
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun visitors is countable.
less
visitors. Responsible for keeping his room and toilet clean.

I will look forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to hearing".
to hear
from you.

Your
faithfully
.

Linda Joy
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter Write to college accomodation officer for renting room in your apartment. Tell where is your apartmentDescribe your roomWhat kind of person you prefer v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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