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Write a letter to your friend. You have borrowed something from your friend, and it got damaged. 1. Apologise to the damage2. Explain what happened3. How you are going to fix the issue. v.10

Write a letter to your friend. You have borrowed something from your friend, and it got damaged. 1. Apologise to the damage2. Explain what happened3. How you are going to fix the issue. v. 10
Dear Annie I’m just write to tell you about an unexpected damage to your laptop that I borrowed from you last week. I really appreciate your kindness for letting me use your laptop for 2 weeks when I needed it to complete my dissertation. I am very sorry for this incident and hope you would forgive me. Last Friday, I used the device during a lecture at Swinburne University. I had to give a presentation on the stage whilst the laptop was placed on the table. Once I completed the speech, I came back to the seat and was shock to recognise that your laptop dropped. I checked straight away, everything was still working fine, but there was a long crack on the screen. I brought it to a laptop repair store to fix it, then fortunately the repairer said he can replace the screen by a brand-new one. Certainly, he promised that I can get it back by Sunday next week. I will return it to you as soon as I receive it. I wish you would accept my apology. All the best. Nam
Dear Annie

I’m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
write to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "unexpected damage".
an unexpected damage
to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
that I borrowed from you last week.

I
really
appreciate your kindness for letting me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
for 2 weeks when I needed it to complete my dissertation.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sorry for this incident and hope you would forgive me.

Last Friday, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the device during a lecture at Swinburne University. I had to give a presentation on the stage whilst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
was placed
on the table. Once I completed the speech, I came back to the seat and was shock to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
dropped. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
straight away, everything was
still
working fine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was a long crack on the screen.

I brought it to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
repair store to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it, then
fortunately
the repairer said he can replace the screen by a brand-new one.
Certainly
, he promised that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it back by Sunday
next
week. I will return it to you as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I receive it. I wish you would accept my apology.

All the best.

Nam
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS letter Write a letter to your friend. You have borrowed something from your friend, and it got damaged. 1. Apologise to the damage2. Explain what happened3. How you are going to fix the issue. v. 10

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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