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Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter: – Explain why you are unhappy– Request a refund– Make arrangements to return the damaged item v.2

Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter: – Explain why you are unhappy– Request a refund– Make arrangements to return the damaged item v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I recently ordered a Kitchenmax blender from your online shop, and was disappointed to discover that the glass portions of the appliance had been smashed during transit. I would have expected the package to be wrapped more effectively in order to avoid incidents such as this, but there was almost no padding material in the box. I would like you to arrange for the return of the item and to process a full refund as soon as is convenient, since the blender was intended to be a gift for an occasion that has already passed. The order number was KX3564686, and it was delivered on 24/09/2017. If you need to book a time for a courier to collect the parcel, you can contact me at this email address, but it must be within the next two weeks as I will be moving to Washington. Kind regards, Angela Bradford
Dear Sir or Madam,

I recently ordered a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kitchenmax
blender from your online shop, and
was disappointed
to discover that the glass portions of the appliance had
been smashed
during transit.

I would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
the package to
be wrapped
more
effectively
in order to avoid incidents such as this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was almost no padding material in the box.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like you to arrange for the return of the item and to process a full refund as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as is convenient, since the blender
was intended
to be a gift for an occasion that has already passed.

The order number was KX3564686, and it
was delivered
on 24/09/2017.

If you need to book a time for a courier to collect the parcel, you can contact me at this email address,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be within the
next
two weeks as I will be moving to Washington.

Kind regards,

Angela Bradford
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter Write a letter to the retailer to complain. In the letter: – Explain why you are unhappy– Request a refund– Make arrangements to return the damaged item v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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