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While your friend was away on vacation, you stayed in his apartment. While you were there, you dropped an expensive bowl and broke it. Write a letter to your friend and in your letter explain- what happened- apologize for the accident- tell your friend how v.2

While your friend was away on vacation, you stayed in his apartment. While you were there, you dropped an expensive bowl and broke it. Write a letter to your friend and in your letter explain- what happened- apologize for the accident- tell your friend how v. 2
Dear Friend, I hope this finds you well. Thank you very much for giving me keys to your apartment while you were away on vacations. I stayed there for 10 days. It was very comfortable and I felt like I was at my own home. There was this beautiful crystal bowl decorated right besides TV trolley. Looks of bowl were so catchy that it stuck in my eyes. Immediately, I moved near bowl to have a closer look and carry it in my hands. However, this sudden movement resulted in change in blood flow and I felt dizzy for a moment. The very same moment, bowl fell down from my hands and it shattered into pieces. I am very sad on this incident and have no words to explain my embarrasement. I am very sorry for this loss. I know the bowl was very expensive and I am sincerely appologizing for the accident. Despite the fact that I have replaced it with a beautiful vase, I still want to make it up for dropping that bowl. For this reason, I have arranged for a picnic. Venue for picnic is a Lake located in outskirts of this city. Map of location is enclosed with this letter. I have arranged for lunch followed by a music programme. I hope to see you at the lake this weekend. Kindly accept my apology and hope to see you this weekend. Sincerely, MM
Dear Friend,

I hope this finds you well.

Thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much for giving me keys to your apartment while you were away on vacations. I stayed there for 10 days. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable and I felt like I was at my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home. There was this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
crystal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bowl
decorated right
besides
TV trolley. Looks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bowl
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
catchy that it stuck in my eyes. Immediately, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bowl
to have a closer look and carry it in my hands.
However
, this sudden movement resulted in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in blood flow and I felt dizzy for a moment. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
same moment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bowl
fell down from my hands and it shattered into pieces.

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sad on this incident and have no words to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my
Possible spelling mistake found.
embarrasement
. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sorry for this loss.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bowl
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
expensive and
I am
sincerely
Possible spelling mistake found.
appologizing
for the accident.

Despite the fact that I have replaced it with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
vase, I
still
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it up for dropping that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bowl
.
For this reason
, I have arranged for a picnic. Venue for picnic is a Lake located in outskirts of this city. Map of location
is enclosed
with this letter. I have arranged for lunch followed by a music
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
. I hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you at the lake this weekend.

Kindly accept my apology and hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you this weekend.

Sincerely
,

MM
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS letter While your friend was away on vacation, you stayed in his apartment. While you were there, you dropped an expensive bowl and broke it. Write a letter to your friend and in your letter explain- what happened- apologize for the accident- tell your friend how v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
237 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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