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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.57

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 57
In current' s challenging world, people love to explore untouched or challenging places for travel purpose. So these type of adventurous tours has plus as well as minus points too. This view mentions briefly hereunder. Most mankind has a basis hobby is called travelling. People keen to travel different places like beaches, historical places, hills station in their leisure time. But nowadays, tourist want to go and enjoy at challenging places like the Sahara deserts and the Antarctic etc. To explore, this type challenging places people can increase their confidence level as well as health due to basic guidelines published by authority. Additionally, it is obvious that its a lifetime achievement feeling for them. Moreover, it also creates the motivational story for rest of the population. Untouched or difficult places biggest difficulty is financial conditions. Inhabitants biggest challenge is survival, therefore if tourist travel there then the economy can increase in these areas. And local people can live the good life. Last but not the least, the world can know the tradition, the culture of the inhabitant of these areas. Against the benefits, it has too many disadvantages too. Likewise, pollution can increase in this beautiful, natural places. The study shows that pollution is increased by 20% in last ten years in the Antartic. In other words, the climate is going to disturb reason of pollution. Furthermore, figures also say that tourist death is also increased in the adventurous places due to lack of safety measures. Finally, difficult places have tremendous God' s beauty with physical challenges. So people are attracted to it and explore the places.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
current&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore untouched or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for travel purpose.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these type of adventurous tours has plus
as well
as minus points too. This view mentions
briefly
hereunder.

Most mankind has a basis hobby
is called
travelling.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
keen to travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like beaches, historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, hills station in their leisure time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays, tourist want to go and enjoy at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like the Sahara deserts and the Antarctic etc.

To explore, this type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can increase their confidence level
as well
as health due to basic guidelines published by authority.
Additionally
, it is obvious that
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a lifetime achievement feeling for them.
Moreover
, it
also
creates the motivational story for rest of the population. Untouched or difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
difficulty is financial conditions. Inhabitants
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
challenge is survival,
therefore
if tourist travel there then the economy can increase in these areas. And local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the world can know the tradition, the culture of the inhabitant of these areas.

Against the benefits, it has too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages too.
Likewise
, pollution can increase in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. The study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that pollution
is increased
by 20% in last ten years in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antartic
.
In other words
, the climate is going to disturb reason of pollution.
Furthermore
, figures
also
say that tourist death is
also
increased in the adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
due to lack of safety measures.

Finally
, difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have tremendous
Possible spelling mistake found.
God&
#039; s beauty with physical challenges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to it and explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 57

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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