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There have been several complains about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Describe the complaints that ha v.2

There have been several complains about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Describe the complaints that ha v. 2
Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing in response to your enquiry about my suggestion of improvement the reception area in our company’s office. The following information may be of use to you that I noticed that some visitors to our organization arrive has complained about receptionists which were not at work place. Consequence these visitors force to wait for long time for help or information. If you can understand the problem about this because of we have huge number of visitors every day, we really need to improve our service for clients. As, we the real estate agency we have to offer high quality service and have pleasant office atmosphere especially when visitors arrive. Taking everything into consideration, it is highly recommended to widen the reception place by using the room next to it. Moreover, hiring a third receptionist would be definitely advantageous. I am looking forward to the changes being implemented. Yours sincerely, Olga Choklia
Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing in response to your
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiry' is British English.
enquiry
about my suggestion of improvement the reception area in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s office.

The following information may be of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to you that I noticed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to our organization arrive has complained about receptionists which were not at work place. Consequence these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
force
Did you mean "waiting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to wait
for long time for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or information.

If you can understand the problem about this
Probable usage error. Use "because we" instead.
because of we
have huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
every day, we
really
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our service for clients. As, we the real estate agency we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
offer high quality service and have pleasant office atmosphere
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
arrive.

Taking everything into consideration, it is
highly
The verb 'recommended' is used with the gerund form: "recommended widening".
recommended to widen
the reception place by using the room
next
to it.
Moreover
, hiring a third receptionist would be definitely advantageous.

I am looking forward to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
being implemented
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Olga
Possible spelling mistake found.
Choklia
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS letter There have been several complains about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Describe the complaints that ha v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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