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The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children`s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. v.4

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children`s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. v. 4
The pie graph illustrates the amount of income and expenditures of an American charity organisation of children in 2016. Overall, the total income of the charity slightly exceeded the spent. It can also be seen that the major source of income was donated food and the major expenditure was program services. In detail, the main revenue for the charity was food donations which accounted for 86, 6% of all the income. Community contributions were the second biggest source with just 10, 4%. The other revenue sources covered minor percentages, which were with 2, 2% program revenue, 0, 2% government grants, 0, 2% investment income and with 0, 4% other income. Program services, on the other hand, accounted for the majority of the spent with 95, 8%. Fundraising was the second spent with 2, 6%, followed by management and general expenditure with 1, 6%. The amount of the total income was $53, 561, 580 which was exceeding just about the outgoing which was $53, 224, 896 in total.
The pie graph illustrates the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and expenditures of an American charity
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
of children in 2016.
Overall
, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
of the charity
slightly
exceeded the spent. It can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the major source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
was donated
food and the major expenditure was program services.

In detail, the main revenue for the charity was food donations which accounted for 86, 6% of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
. Community contributions were the second biggest source with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10, 4%. The other revenue sources covered minor percentages, which were with 2, 2% program revenue, 0, 2%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants, 0, 2% investment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and with 0, 4% other income.

Program services,
on the other hand
, accounted for the majority of the spent with 95, 8%. Fundraising was the second spent with 2, 6%, followed by management and general expenditure with 1, 6%.

The amount of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
was $53, 561, 580 which was exceeding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about the outgoing which was $53, 224, 896 in total.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS letter The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children`s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. v. 4

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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