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The local council has decided on a block of flats on the park opposite to the place where you live in. Write a letter to the editor of the local newspaper protesting against this move. Make suggestion for what people can or should do to stop this developm v.2

The local council has decided on a block of flats on the park opposite to the place where you live in. Write a letter to the editor of the local newspaper protesting against this move. Make suggestion for what people can or should do to stop this developm v. 2
Dear Sir I am one of the residents of Friends colony. Yesterday, I read in the newspaper that the local council has planned to build apartments on the park named Botanical garden, which is just in front of my flat. I want you to publish an article against this action in your newspaper. Firstly, there is no need to build new flats in the area as there are enough apartments which have vacancy for residency. Secondly, Botanical garden is the only park in the area which is utilised by residents of all the age groups. It is a place for children to play, youngsters to meet with their friends or go for a jogging, adults visit to refresh their mind and old people to do yoga. If the park will be destroyed, the whole community will suffer. I request you to write about this planning in order to aware public regarding the loss they have to face so that they should stand with me to protest against the local organisation to safeguard the park. You should mention about the petition that I am initiating in your news so that people should sign it to show that they are with me in this fight and help me in preserving the garden. I would appreciate your immediate response. Yours sincerely Flora Thompson
Dear Sir

I am one of the residents of Friends colony. Yesterday, I read in the newspaper that the local council has planned to build apartments on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
named Botanical garden, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in front of my flat. I want you to publish an article against this action in your newspaper.

Firstly
, there is no need to build new flats in the area as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
apartments which have vacancy for residency.
Secondly
, Botanical garden is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
in the area which is
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
by residents of all the age groups. It is a place for children to play, youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with their friends or go for a jogging, adults visit to refresh their mind and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do yoga.

If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
, the whole community will suffer. I request you to write about this planning in order to aware public regarding the loss they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they should stand with me to protest against the local
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to safeguard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. You should
Did you mean simply "mention the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mention about the
petition that I am initiating in your news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they are with me in this fight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in preserving the garden.

I would appreciate your immediate response.

Yours
sincerely


Flora Thompson
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS letter The local council has decided on a block of flats on the park opposite to the place where you live in. Write a letter to the editor of the local newspaper protesting against this move. Make suggestion for what people can or should do to stop this developm v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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