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The chart shows the global water use by sector and water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000. v.2

The chart shows the global water use by sector and water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000. v. 2
The charts illustrate the amount of water used globally by 3 sectors namely agriculture, industrial use and domestic use from 1990 to 2000, and the use of water in Brazil and Congo in 2000. Overall, the figure for water consumption by 3 sectors increased gradually, and Brazil was the country that consumed the greatest amount of water. In 1900, there were approximately 500 km3 of water used by agriculture industry internationally and it remained the highest until the end of the period surveyed. During 10 years, the figure rose roundly 6 times and stood at the highest peak in 2000, at 3000 km3. The global water used for industries and domestics was merely at 0 km3 at the beginning, then it went up gradually to nearly 1200 km3 and 200 km3 in the end. By far Brazil had a more numerous population than the Democratic Republic of Congo, which nearly 44 times higher, 176 and 5. 2 million people respectively. The amount of land supplied by water in Brazil was far more than its counterpart. The former had 26, 500 km2 of irrigated land, whereas the latter had merely 100 km2. Therefore, there was far less water consumed by a person in Congo than in Brazil at 8 m3 and 359 m3 respectively.
The charts illustrate the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
globally by 3 sectors
namely
agriculture, industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
from 1990 to 2000, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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water
in Brazil and Congo in 2000.
Overall
, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption by 3 sectors increased
gradually
, and Brazil was the country that consumed the greatest amount of water.

In 1900, there were approximately 500 km3 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by agriculture industry
internationally
and it remained the highest until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period surveyed. During 10 years, the figure rose
roundly
6 times and stood at the highest peak in 2000, at 3000 km3. The global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for industries and domestics was
merely
at 0 km3 at the beginning, then it went up
gradually
to
nearly
1200 km3 and 200 km3 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

By far Brazil had a more numerous population than the Democratic Republic of Congo, which
nearly
44 times higher, 176 and 5. 2 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
respectively
. The amount of land supplied by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in Brazil was far more than its counterpart. The former had 26, 500 km2 of irrigated land, whereas the latter had
merely
100 km2.
Therefore
, there was far less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumed by a person in Congo than in Brazil at 8 m3 and 359 m3
respectively
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS letter The chart shows the global water use by sector and water consumption in Brazil and Congo in 2000. v. 2

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
213 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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