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The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009 v.3

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009 v. 3
The table illustrates the percentage of students enroll in four different kinds of schools from 2000 to 2009. Overall, it is clear that the proportion of students attending specialist schools, grammar schools and voluntary - controlled schools dicreased while this figure for community schools increased. In 2000, voluntary schools headed for the proportion of students, at 52% which is higher than the percentage of pupils enrolling in grammar schools (24%). 12% of students attending in specialist schools and community schools for each. In 2009, the percentage of pupils going to voluntary - controlled schools declined dramatically to only 20%. Grammar schools and specialist schools also saw a slight decrease, to 12% and 10% respectively. In contrast, 2009 witnessed a significant increase of the student attendance in community schools, from 12% in 2000 to 58% in 2009.
The table illustrates the percentage of
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students
enroll in four
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different
kinds of
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schools
from 2000 to 2009.

Overall
, it is
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clear
that the proportion of
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students
attending specialist
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schools
, grammar
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schools
and voluntary
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
controlled
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schools
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicreased
while this figure for community
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schools
increased.

In 2000, voluntary
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schools
headed for the proportion of
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students
, at 52% which is higher than the percentage of pupils enrolling in grammar
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schools
(24%). 12% of
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students
attending in specialist
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schools
and community
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schools
for each.

In 2009, the percentage of pupils going to voluntary
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
controlled
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schools
declined
dramatically
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20%. Grammar
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schools
and specialist
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schools
also
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saw
a slight decrease, to 12% and 10%
respectively
.
In contrast
, 2009 witnessed a significant increase of the
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student
attendance in community
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schools
, from 12% in 2000 to 58% in 2009.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009 v. 3

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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