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Write a letter to manager in the airport to appreciate an employee for their help. -What was the problem? -How did he help? -What you want the manager to do? v.1

Write a letter to manager in the airport to appreciate an employee for their help. -What was the problem? -How did he help? -What you want the manager to do? v. 1
Dear Sir, My name is Bharat Prajapati, dweller of Gujarat. Me and my family went to Bombay recently for a vacation and returned yesterday. I am writing this letter to thank you and appreciate work one of your employee Mr. Suraj Patel, who helped us with a problem that we faced at the airport. Yesterday, me and my family returned at Ahmedabad airport. As we were going to carousel to collect luggage and suddenly my daughter slipped from escalator. Fortunately she does not get major injury, only minor scratches on her leg and elbow. At the same time your officer Mr. Suraj Patel was going from there and he saw that my daughter was crying so he asked us about this and said what was happened. So immediately he arranged the first aid and my daughter gets some relaxed from pain. Moreover, after some time my wife recognize that she lost her hand bag. In that purse our passport and other important documents was inside. We searched here and there but did not found. Luckily that officer was with us and suggested to look at " Lost and Found" department and we went there and found the purse. We feel relaxed after getting purse. Mr. Suraj Patel personally take care of my daughter like she is his daughter. Moreover he also helped us in getting purse. He is kind and helpful in nature and doing his job very politely. Please say thank you on behalf of us. Furthermore, i heard that you have an award for best employee of the month. I would like to suggest his name for this award. As a result he will get motivation to do better and better. I hope that you will consider my suggestion. Yours faithfully, Bharat Prajapati.
Dear Sir,

My name is Bharat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Prajapati
, dweller of Gujarat.
When referring to yourself and somebody else, put their name first. Also check whether the nominative form "I" is required here.
Me
and my family went to Bombay recently for a vacation and returned yesterday. I am writing this letter to thank you and appreciate work one of your employee Mr. Suraj Patel, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us with a problem that we faced at the airport.

Yesterday, me and my family
The usual collocation for "returned" is "to" not "at" with. Did you mean "returned to"?
returned at
Ahmedabad airport. As we were going to carousel to collect luggage and
suddenly
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
slipped from escalator.
Fortunately
she does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
major injury,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
minor scratches on her leg and elbow. At the same time your officer Mr. Suraj Patel was going from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
there and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
was crying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he asked us about this and said what
was happened
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
immediately he arranged the
first
aid and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relaxed from pain.
Moreover
, after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time my wife recognize that she lost her hand bag. In that purse our passport and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
documents was inside. We searched here and there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
did not
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
found
. Luckily that officer was with us and
The verb 'suggested' is used with the gerund form: "suggested looking".
suggested to look
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Lost and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Found&quot
;
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
department and
we went there and found the purse. We feel relaxed after getting purse.

Mr. Suraj Patel
personally
take care of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
like she is his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
he
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us in getting purse. He is kind and helpful in nature and doing his job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
politely
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
say thank you on behalf of us.
Furthermore
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
heard that you have an award for best employee of the month. I would like to suggest his name for this award.
As a result
he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivation to do better and better.

I hope that you will consider my suggestion.

Yours
faithfully
,

Bharat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Prajapati
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS letter Write a letter to manager in the airport to appreciate an employee for their help. -What was the problem? -How did he help? -What you want the manager to do? v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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