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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. v.16

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 16
Sportsperson are always in limelight, sometimes because of their achievement and others time wealth and luxury lifestyle. Some sections of people think that they deserve to earn lot of money while other people disagree with it. I shall explain both views in the essay. People who believe that sports professional should not earn quantum of money have some valid points. Firstly, race of earning the money distract their mind and sometime good sports person loose the focus and get behind in the respective sports. It has been seen that when sports person become famous and are admired by crowd then commercial company try to use their influence to endorse their products by offering hefty sum. This not only makes them rich but also raise quest to see other such endorsement for getting money, consequently, they rarely get time to practice sports they play at different level. For example, English soccer caption David Beckham rose quickly early in his career because of dexterousness in game but later on involved in money making deals and eventually did lose the place in country team. Secondly, most of the players are treated as ideal owing to their commands and skills in game but when they get money, they start to flaunt in public, resulting, people also try to live in similar fashion and adopt wrong way to earn money just to imitate the lifestyle of beloved sports person. However, other think that players are famous and play at international level have full rights to earn the money. In most of the sports, life of the career is very short and after retirement, they become ordinary person and rarely get endorsement or other jobs. Particularly, the sports which are not so famous, most of the player goes on oblivion and face hard time to live the life. For instance, in recent news, a former international player was seen selling the vegetable on the streets in shabby conditions. Moreover, these players are treated as celebrity in their respective country and to maintain such status, money is required to earn in order to manage themselves and their staff. In conclusion, sports professional are loved and admired by everyone because of their contribution in games. Sports person career span is short so in my view, they deserve to earn the money for living good life and after retirement period.
Sportsperson are always in limelight,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their achievement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
time wealth and luxury lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sections of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they deserve to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree with it. I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both views in the essay.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professional should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
quantum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid points.
Firstly
, race of earning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
distract their mind and sometime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
loose the focus and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
behind in the respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
are admired
by crowd then commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their influence to endorse their products by offering hefty sum. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
raise quest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
such endorsement for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
consequently
, they rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
they play at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
level.
For example
, English soccer caption David Beckham rose
quickly
early in his career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of dexterousness in game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later on involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
making deals and
eventually
did lose the place in country team.
Secondly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are treated
as ideal owing to their commands and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to flaunt in public, resulting,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in similar fashion and adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to imitate the lifestyle of beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and play at international level have full rights to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, life of the career is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short and after retirement, they become ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
endorsement or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
jobs.
Particularly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
goes on oblivion and face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the life.
For instance
, in recent news, a former international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
selling the vegetable on the streets in shabby conditions.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are treated
as celebrity in their respective country and to maintain such status,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
in order to manage themselves and their staff.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professional are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and admired by everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their contribution in games.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
career span is short
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in my view, they deserve to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life and after retirement period.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS letter Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. v. 16

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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