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A company is organising a trip abroad for language training to a number of limited places. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, you should: • express That you want to join• say why you think you should join• explain why the o v.2

A company is organising a trip abroad for language training to a number of limited places. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, you should: • express That you want to join• say why you think you should join• explain why the o v. 2
Dear Sir I am writing this letter in response to your advertisement in newspaper for a language course in abroad and there are limited number of seats. I really want to join this training as it is essential for me. In future, I have planned to go to abroad for further studies and by joining the training, that your organisation is providing, will help me to learn foreign language. That is why, It would be beneficial to me and do not have to face any issue during my studies or while conversing to any person of foreign land. Though, training is little bit expensive but I can manage to bear the expenses of the course. Beside that, I have a few knowledge of french, so I am capable of learning this language easily and in given short span. I would like that you should enrol my name for this training as I am the right person with appropriate ability and money to complete this course. I am looking forward to your response. Yours Sincerely Paul Thompson
Dear Sir

I am writing this letter in response to your advertisement in newspaper for a language course in abroad and there
are limited
number of seats. I
really
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
as it is essential for me.

Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, I have planned to
There isn't usually a preposition before "abroad". Did you mean "go abroad"?
go to abroad
for
further
studies and by joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, that your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is providing, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to learn foreign language.
That is
why, It would be beneficial to me and do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face any issue during my studies or while conversing to any person of foreign land.

Though,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I can manage to bear the expenses of the course. Beside that, I have a
Possible agreement error. The noun knowledge seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little knowledge".
few knowledge
of french,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am capable of learning this language
easily
and in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
short span. I would like that you should enrol my name for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
as I am the right person with appropriate ability and money to complete this course.

I am looking forward to your response.

Yours
Sincerely


Paul Thompson
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS letter A company is organising a trip abroad for language training to a number of limited places. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, you should: • express That you want to join• say why you think you should join• explain why the o v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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