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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.17

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 17
In the recent years, there has been surge in nefarious activities. Few people percept that non-bailable punishments will result in the decline of crime rates but there is a contentious argument as others feel felony can be tackled in many other positive ways. This essay will elicit both the points and I will give my perspective on it. To begin with, nowadays criminal activities have become inevitable. This heinous crimes like murders, robberies and kidnaps leads to a pitfall situation. Hence, a few people have become prudent and they believe stern actions will deteriorate such crimes. Moreover, when such people are given life-term jail sentence it will reduce threat to the society. For instance, it is often seen that people after committing rape try to blackmail the victims due to which the sufferers are skeptical about lodging a complaint against the rapists. On the other hand, there is a percentage of people who think these criminals should be taught a positive lesson to ensure their better future. Sometimes, there are immature juveniles who commit such felony at a tender age but giving them life-sentence will be unfair. Rather they should be given psychiatric treatment as well as an employment opportunity to overcome their ill thought process. For Instance, there are some countries who conduct psychometric assessment for such criminals and educate them to become a good citizen. In conclusion, I believe both the points have merits. On balance, it is my opinion that offenders should be given an opportunity to improve themselves. I firmly believe this because it will create a positive society as well as reduce government’s burden to feed criminals free in jail for their life-time.
In the recent years, there has been surge in nefarious activities. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
percept
that non-bailable punishments will result in the decline of crime rates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is a contentious argument as others feel felony can
be tackled
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways. This essay will elicit both the points and I will give my perspective on it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities have become inevitable. This heinous crimes like murders, robberies and kidnaps leads to a pitfall situation.
Hence
, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prudent and
they believe stern actions will deteriorate such crimes.
Moreover
, when such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
life-term jail sentence it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
threat to the society.
For instance
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after committing rape try to blackmail the victims due to which the sufferers are skeptical about lodging a complaint against the rapists.

On the other hand
, there is a percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be taught
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
lesson to ensure their better future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, there are immature juveniles who commit such felony at a tender age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
giving them life-sentence will be unfair.
Rather
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
psychiatric treatment
as well
as an employment opportunity to overcome their ill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process.
For Instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries who conduct psychometric assessment for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and educate them to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen.

In conclusion
, I believe both the points have merits. On balance, it is my opinion that offenders should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves. I
firmly
believe this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
society
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s burden to feed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
free in jail for their life-time.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS letter Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 17

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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