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Some new employees have just joined your company to gain work experience. Write a letter to them and say– What work do you do? – What will they be doing on their first day at work? – What should a person bring along on the first day? v.2

Some new employees have just joined your company to gain work experience. Write a letter to them and say– What work do you do? – What will they be doing on their first day at work? – What should a person bring along on the first day? v. 2
Dear new employees I am writing to welcome you to our company and tell about a few necessary things you need to carry on your first day at the organization. I am working as an HR head in KCMG from last 3 years. My work involves recruiting new employees, giving them orientation and make employees aware of the company' s vision and long-term goals. On the very first day, I have arranged an orientation session for you people. There will be a short presentation given by my colleague about the different departments in our company and then I will take you for a short visit to show the premises of our organization. In the end, our chairman, Mr. Ram Punjabi will address and meet the new employees. About the necessary things that you people need to carry is your signed original appointment letter, a diary, and a pen, which will be useful for taking notes. Also, I would ask you to bring your recent passport size photograph for making your identification company card. Looking forward to seeing you all on the 8th of August at 10 am. Yours faithfully John Patel.
Dear new employees

I am writing to welcome you to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about a few necessary things you need to carry on your
first
day at the organization.

I am working as an HR head in
Possible spelling mistake found.
KCMG
from last 3 years. My work involves recruiting new employees, giving them orientation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
employees aware of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
company&
#039; s vision and long-term goals.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
day, I have arranged an orientation session for you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There will be a short presentation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by my colleague about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
departments in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and then I will take you for a short visit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the premises of our organization. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, our chairman, Mr. Ram Punjabi will address and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the new employees.

About the necessary things that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to carry is your signed original appointment letter, a diary, and a pen, which will be useful for taking notes.
Also
, I would ask you to bring your recent passport size photograph for making your identification
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
card.

Looking forward to seeing you all on the 8th of August at 10 am.

Yours
faithfully


John Patel.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS letter Some new employees have just joined your company to gain work experience. Write a letter to them and say– What work do you do? – What will they be doing on their first day at work? – What should a person bring along on the first day? v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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