Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You recently joined a sports club and are having some problems Write to the manager and include Why you joined the club The problems you are having Some possible solutions v.2

You recently joined a sports club and are having some problems Write to the manager and include Why you joined the club The problems you are having Some possible solutions v. 2
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to convey the issues that I have been facing in your sports club. I did join the club a month ago, having the intention to get proper guidance and become a professional bodybuilder to compete at the international level. Although I have been assigned an instructor to guide, he already had the number of students in the club; therefore, I am not getting full attention from him to build muscle. Whereas, it is compulsory for a bodybuilder to have proper guidance with a dietary requirement from a professional instructor to build muscle and subsequently take part in the competition. Besides, he usually came late in the club which is another issue as I have fixed timing for exercise due to office commitments. I would suggest if you could reduce the number of students in one section, so I would be able to get full guidance from him to achieve my target. Also, appreciate it if you could advise him to attend the class on time as it would help me to complete my workout, and reach the office on time. I hope to receive a position reply Best Regards,
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to convey the issues that I have been facing in your sports club.

I did
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the club a month ago, having the intention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper guidance and become a professional bodybuilder to compete at the international level. Although I have
been assigned
an instructor to guide, he already had the number of students in the club;
therefore
, I am not getting full attention from him to build muscle. Whereas, it is compulsory for a bodybuilder to have proper guidance with a dietary requirement from a professional instructor to build muscle and
subsequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the competition.
Besides
, he
usually
came late in the club which is another issue as I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
timing for exercise due to office commitments.

I would suggest if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of students in one section,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
full guidance from him to achieve my target.
Also
, appreciate it if you could advise him to attend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
on time as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to complete my workout, and reach the office on time.

I hope to receive a position reply

Best Regards,
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS letter You recently joined a sports club and are having some problems Write to the manager and include Why you joined the club The problems you are having Some possible solutions v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
196 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts