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Question1: (related to complaint )You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your v.2

Question1: (related to complaint )You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Divya, Writing to raise my concern about the phone which I bought from one of your store last Sunday. I and my Husband very exited to visited your store to buy iPhone XS Max to gift him on our 5th marriage anniversary on 10th September but our excitement was not long -lasted soon and it ruined our celebration spirit. I am hoping that you would take actions to improve your product quality and maintain your reputation. Let me explain my concern in more detail. I am regular customer of your Electronic outlet store because you guys maintain hygiene, Good ambience, staff behavior and above all good product quality. But last time it was a big disappointment. I had appointment slot booked well in advance  but it was allocated to someone else, which is not acceptable as it hurts customers' faith in your service. Moreover, the product service was less than average. The phone touch screen is freezing itself after two days of use. We mentioned that phone was not under proper working condition but no comment or apology was made at the time. On top of that, phone charger stopped working completely! Though we complained about our problem to your staff, she did not mind us and instead told us to complain to the manager. I had a high expectation from your store but got equally frustrated. I would really appreciate if you could take proper action about this inconvenience that we had due to the product that we bought at your restaurant. Please offer the best possible services, Quality product experience and efficient staff to your customers. I look forward to your immediate response regarding this. Yours faithfully, Divya
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am Divya, Writing to raise my concern about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from one of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
last Sunday. I and my Husband
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exited to visited your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
iPhone XS Max to gift him on our 5th
Wedding anniversaries are the proper term to describe the anniversary of the day of a wedding.
marriage
anniversary on 10th September
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
our excitement was not long -lasted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and it ruined our celebration spirit.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would take actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
quality and maintain your reputation.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my concern in more detail. I
Please check whether an article is missing: "am a regular" or "am an regular"
am regular
customer of your Electronic outlet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you guys maintain hygiene,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
ambience, staff behavior and
above all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
quality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
last time it was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
disappointment. I had appointment slot booked well in advance
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
was allocated
to someone else, which is not acceptable as it hurts
Possible spelling mistake found.
customers&
#039; faith in your service.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
service was less than average. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
touch screen is freezing itself after two days of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. We mentioned that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
was not under proper working condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no comment or apology
was made
at the time.
On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
charger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working completely! Though we complained about our problem to your staff, she did not mind us and
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us to complain to the manager.

I had a high expectation from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
equally
frustrated. I would
really
appreciate if you could take proper action about this inconvenience that we had due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
at your restaurant.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
offer the best possible services, Quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
experience and efficient staff to your customers.

I look forward to your immediate response regarding this.

Yours
faithfully
,

Divya
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS letter Question1: (related to complaint )You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Question1: (related to complaint )You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your v.2