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You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. v.3

You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to notify you that I have recently purchased a brand-new mobile phone from your store and it stopped working after a week. I want you to replace this mobile phone with a new one as per the warranty clauses. Three weeks ago I purchased a brand new Nokia 6. 1 Plus mobile phone from your Broadway Avenue store. I was excited to have it but soon disheartened to find that it was a faulty product that stopped working just after a week's use. The problem with the mobile phone started to appear on 25th May and it is completely unusable now. I am very surprised to discover such issues in an expensive model. Naturally, I returned the phone to your store to be replaced with a new one. One of your staffs told me that they will send it to my home address within a week. However, two weeks have already passed and I have not received it yet. I am very disappointed with your poor after-sale service. The order number is 54875412 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt. In this regard, I insist on getting a full refund of the purchase amount if the replacement does not happen within the next week. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Joseph Mark
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to notify you that I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a brand-new mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
from your store and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. I want you to replace this mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
with a new one as per the warranty clauses.

Three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
ago I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a brand new Nokia 6. 1 Plus mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
from your Broadway Avenue store. I
was excited
to have it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
disheartened to find that it was a faulty product that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after a week's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. The problem with the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to appear on 25th May and it is completely unusable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
surprised to discover such issues in an expensive model.

Naturally
, I returned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to your store to
be replaced
with a new one. One of your staffs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
it to my home address within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
However
, two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
have already passed and I have not received it
yet
. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappointed with your poor after-sale service. The order number is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
54875412 and
I am attaching a copy of my receipt.

In this regard, I insist on getting a full refund of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
amount if the replacement does not happen within the
next
week.

Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Joseph Mark
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter You have bought a new mobile phone and in a few days of purchase, it has stopped working. You have spoken to the company representative a week ago but it has still not been repaired. v. 3

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
232 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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