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04. 10. 2017work with mistakes. Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another v.2

04. 10. 2017work with mistakes. Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another v. 2
Dear John, I heard from our colleagues you are being transferred to Dallas next month and I would like to help you with accommodation. Recently, I got married and we decided to start our marital life in a new house. We are going to take a mortgage on a newly built two-story house that is situated on the outskirts of the megalopolis in a peaceful and calm neighborhood. In fact, the credit has been approved and we are going to move in soon. So, my old apartment will be available for rent. The flat I recommend is located in a spectacular place. There is a riverside that is well-maintain and a big beautiful park. Moreover, there are two cinema theaters, three nice restaurants, a gym and a big department store. In other words, all needed infrastructure and services are conveniently located nearby. Furthermore, the landlord is a decent, old woman who will not cause you any troubles and the rent is reasonable. In average, apartments in this neighborhood cost about eight hundred dollars per month but the lady charges only five hundred. If you like my idea, I will talk to the landlord as soon as I get your consent. Sincerely yours, Eugene.
Dear John,

I heard from our colleagues you are
being transferred
to Dallas
next
month and I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you with accommodation.

Recently, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
married and
we decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
our
Did you mean "martial" (relating to war or a warrior)?
marital
life in a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. We are going to take a mortgage on a
newly
built two-story
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that
is situated
on the outskirts of the megalopolis in a peaceful and calm neighborhood. In fact, the credit has been
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
approved and
we are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
apartment will be available for rent.

The flat I recommend
is located
in a spectacular place. There is a riverside
that is
well-maintain and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
park.

Moreover
, there are two cinema theaters, three nice restaurants, a gym and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
department store.
In other words
, all needed infrastructure and services are
conveniently
located nearby.

Furthermore
, the landlord is a decent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
woman who will not cause you any troubles and the rent is reasonable. In average, apartments in this neighborhood cost about eight hundred dollars per month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the lady charges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hundred' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hundreds".
hundred
.

If you like my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I will talk to the landlord as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your consent.

Sincerely
yours,

Eugene.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS letter 04. 10. 2017work with mistakes. Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another v. 2

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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