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04. 10. 2017Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another house? – Describe yo v.2

04. 10. 2017Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another house? – Describe yo v. 2
Dear John, I am writing to give you a piece of advice. I heard from our colleagues you are being transferred to Dallas next month. This is great news. I want to help you with finding a place to live in my home city. In fact, I am moving out at the end of the next week and my apartment will be available for rent. If you want, I could talk to my landlord to reserve it for you. There is some news that I would like to share with you. The biggest one is I have just got married to the prettiest woman in the world and we decided to start our marital life in a new house. So, we are going to take a mortgage on a newly built two-story house that is situated on the outskirts of the megalopolis in a peaceful, calm neighborhood. In fact, the credit has been approved and we are going to move in. Anyway, the flat I used to live is located in a spectacular place. There is a riverside that is well-maintain and a big beautiful park. Moreover, there are two cinema theaters, three nice restaurants, a gym and a big department store. In other words, all needed infrastructure and services are conveniently located nearby. Furthermore, the landlord is a decent, old woman who will not cause you any troubles and the rent is reasonable. In average, apartments in this neighborhood cost about eight hundred dollars per month but the lady charges only five hundred. If you like my idea, I will talk to the landlord as soon as I get your consent. I wait for your prompt response. Sincerely yours, Eugene.
Dear John,

I am writing to give you a piece of advice.

I heard from our colleagues you are
being transferred
to Dallas
next
month. This is great news. I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you with finding a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in my home city. In fact, I am moving out at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
next
week and my apartment will be available for rent. If you want, I could talk to my landlord to reserve it for you.

There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news that I would like to share with you. The biggest one is I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married to the prettiest woman in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
we decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
our
Did you mean "martial" (relating to war or a warrior)?
marital
life in a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we are going to take a mortgage on a
newly
built two-story
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that
is situated
on the outskirts of the megalopolis in a peaceful, calm neighborhood. In fact, the credit has been
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
approved and
we are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in.

Anyway, the flat I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is located
in a spectacular place. There is a riverside
that is
well-maintain and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
park.
Moreover
, there are two cinema theaters, three nice restaurants, a gym and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
department store.
In other words
, all needed infrastructure and services are
conveniently
located nearby.

Furthermore
, the landlord is a decent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
woman who will not cause you any troubles and the rent is reasonable. In average, apartments in this neighborhood cost about eight hundred dollars per month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the lady charges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hundred' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hundreds".
hundred
.

If you like my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I will talk to the landlord as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your consent.

I wait for your prompt response.

Sincerely
yours,

Eugene.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter 04. 10. 2017Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another house? – Describe yo v. 2

Letter
  American English
10 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • 04. 10. 2017Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another house? – Describe yo v.2