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Many people think that it is okay to spend a lot of money in a large wedding. Others argue with it. Discuss both views and give you opinion. v.2

Many people think that it is okay to spend a lot of money in a large wedding. Others argue with it. v. 2
It is agreed by many that spending huge amount in wedding ceremonies is essential. However, other people do not support his idea. In my opinion, I disagree with the notion and this essay will discuss the reasons behind it. Nowadays, organizing a wedding is naturally expensive. Since childhood, people have dreamed of making this day as special and as memorable as possible. I think that allotting big budget for a wedding celebration is impractical. People can instead use their money in more important things like opening a business, investing in future funds or purchase a house which they can use after. Moreover, individuals need to think about saving money for their child' s future. They can either open an account for educational plans or buy health insurance. This will surely assist them in their child' s college expenses as well as their future finances. To illustrate this, 70% of married couple in Britain are said to retire 10 years earlier than planned. As a result, they have more time to travel with their family, attend programs to sustain a healthy lifestyle or even enroll in classes for their preferred activity. In conclusion, couples do not need to spend a lot of money to celebrate weddings. They can instead do it together with their family, relatives and closest colleagues and still make a wedding ceremony worth remembering.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that spending huge amount in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremonies is essential.
However
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not support his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In my opinion, I disagree with the notion and this essay will discuss the reasons behind it.

Nowadays, organizing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is
naturally
expensive. Since childhood,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have dreamed of making this day as special and as memorable as possible. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that allotting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
budget for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
celebration is impractical.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their money in more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things like opening a business, investing in future funds or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
after.

Moreover
, individuals need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about saving money for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s future. They can either open an account for educational plans or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
health insurance. This will
surely
assist them in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s college expenses
as well
as their future finances. To illustrate this, 70% of married couple in Britain
are said
to retire 10 years earlier than planned.
As a result
, they have more time to travel with their family, attend programs to sustain a healthy lifestyle or even enroll in classes for their preferred activity.

In conclusion
, couples do not need to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
. They can
instead
do it together with their family, relatives and closest colleagues and
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremony worth remembering.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter Many people think that it is okay to spend a lot of money in a large wedding. Others argue with it. v. 2

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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