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In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples v.7

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? 7
In many developing nations, the youngsters are forced to work hard and are left with no time to enjoy. There are various reasons for this issue which must be looked into, as it may lead to their nervous breakdown. Admittedly, education is of ultra importance to secure one' s life. These days the job market is so demanding that only well skilled groups are entertained. This is pressurizing the young minds burried in books to work much more than their efficiancy. The feeling of insecurity for their future is a major cause of their worries. Moreover, parent' s expectations is the other causing factor which everychild wants to fulfill. For majority of the guardians study is the only door to success. Therefore the youngsters work day and nightt without any rest. Their developing mind is clouded with the worries and stress which is prohibiting them from visualizing the real meaning of living. A lot can be done both by the parents and teachers to releive these innocent humans. Teachers should start a compulsory sports period daily in every school. This will not only act as a stress booster but can help in staying fit and healthy. On the other hand, parents should stop expecting less from their wards. Instead of burdening their children with their expectations rather they should help them in following their own dreams. This will definitely help in sorting out the issue as children will work more efficiently while following their passion. Additionally, more jobs should be advertised by the companies so as to increase the confidence of budding youth. To conclude, today' s generation is facing risks of mental distress and insecurity. Their love for their family is making them more tensed. Parents and school teachers must take appropriate steps to releive them from the disastrous effects of such a tragedic situation, either the situation is going to be dismal indeed.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing nations, the youngsters
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no time to enjoy. There are various reasons for this issue which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be looked
into, as it may lead to their nervous breakdown.

Admittedly
, education is of ultra importance to secure
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s life. These days the job market is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
demanding that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
well skilled groups
are entertained
. This is pressurizing the young minds
Possible spelling mistake found.
burried
in books to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
much more than their
Possible spelling mistake found.
efficiancy
. The feeling of insecurity for their future is a major cause of their worries.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s expectations is the other causing factor which
Possible spelling mistake found.
everychild
wants to fulfill. For
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the guardians study is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
door to success.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nightt
without any rest. Their developing mind
is clouded
with the worries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
which is prohibiting them from visualizing the real meaning of living.

A lot can
be done
both by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers to
Possible spelling mistake found.
releive
these innocent humans. Teachers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a compulsory sports period daily in every school. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
act as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
booster
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in staying fit and healthy.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
expecting less from their wards.
Instead
of burdening their children with their expectations
rather
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in following their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dreams. This will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in sorting out the issue as children will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
efficiently
while following their passion.
Additionally
, more jobs should
be advertised
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
increase the confidence of budding youth.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s generation is facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of mental distress and insecurity. Their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for their family is making them more tensed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
and school teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take appropriate steps to
Possible spelling mistake found.
releive
them from the disastrous effects of such a
Possible spelling mistake found.
tragedic
situation, either the situation is going to be dismal
indeed
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS letter In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? 7

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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