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In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. v. 3
In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that the reduction of crime rate will be achieved more effectively through better education. I agree with this view. On the one hand, crimes caused by lack of perceptive power to distinguish both right and wrong. On the other hand, people who couldn' t control their emotion are easy committing a crime. Meanwhile, prison doesn' t solve the problem to the every roots. It is just effective in dealing with offenders in the short-term. Murders, for instance, must be imprisoned for many years and such a punishment may act as a deterrent. They know that they will face loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their loved ones if they carry out such criminal acts. Besides, I believe that education has a better role to cope with crimes. Firstly, people should train power of discernment to gain knowledge about right and wrong. Every wrong acts have consequences. As a result, they are better prepared to avoid situations which may involve them in crime. Secondly, psychology education is an important step which helps people increase their awareness about self negative emotion may lead them to wrong behaviours. Lastly, in prison themselves, educational programmes must aim to provide prisoners with skills and qualifications to reintegrate community and find work when they are released. I consider that imprison is not the best effective weapon to fight against crimes in the long-term, and I believe that providing better education is a more essential and durable solution to reduce the crime rate.
In
many
countries
imprisonment is the most common solution to
crimes
.
However
,
some
people
believe that the reduction of
crime
rate will
be achieved
more
effectively
through
better
education
. I
agree
with this view.

On the one hand,
crimes
caused by lack of perceptive power to distinguish both right and
wrong
.
On the other hand
,
people
who
couldn&
#039; t control their emotion are easy committing a
crime
. Meanwhile, prison
doesn&
#039; t solve the problem to the every
roots
. It is
just
effective in dealing with offenders in the short-term. Murders,
for instance
,
must
be imprisoned
for
many
years and such a punishment may act as a deterrent. They know that they will face loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their
loved
ones if they carry out such criminal acts.

Besides
, I believe that
education
has a
better
role to cope with
crimes
.
Firstly
,
people
should train power of discernment to gain knowledge about right and
wrong
. Every
wrong
acts have consequences.
As a result
, they are
better
prepared to avoid situations which may involve them in
crime
.
Secondly
, psychology
education
is an
important
step which
helps
people
increase their awareness about self
negative
emotion may lead them to
wrong
behaviours
.
Lastly
, in prison themselves, educational
programmes
must
aim to provide prisoners with
skills
and qualifications to reintegrate community and find work when they
are released
.

I consider that imprison is not the best effective weapon to fight against
crimes
in the long-term, and I believe that providing
better
education
is a more essential and durable solution to
reduce
the
crime
rate.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS letter In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. v. 3

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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