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In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. v. 3
In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However, some people believe that the reduction of crime rate will be achieved more effectively through better education. I agree with this view. On the one hand, crimes caused by lack of perceptive power to distinguish both right and wrong. On the other hand, people who couldn' t control their emotion are easy committing a crime. Meanwhile, prison doesn' t solve the problem to the every roots. It is just effective in dealing with offenders in the short-term. Murders, for instance, must be imprisoned for many years and such a punishment may act as a deterrent. They know that they will face loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their loved ones if they carry out such criminal acts. Besides, I believe that education has a better role to cope with crimes. Firstly, people should train power of discernment to gain knowledge about right and wrong. Every wrong acts have consequences. As a result, they are better prepared to avoid situations which may involve them in crime. Secondly, psychology education is an important step which helps people increase their awareness about self negative emotion may lead them to wrong behaviours. Lastly, in prison themselves, educational programmes must aim to provide prisoners with skills and qualifications to reintegrate community and find work when they are released. I consider that imprison is not the best effective weapon to fight against crimes in the long-term, and I believe that providing better education is a more essential and durable solution to reduce the crime rate.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
imprisonment is the most common solution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate will
be achieved
more
effectively
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
caused by lack of perceptive power to distinguish both right and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t control their emotion are easy committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Meanwhile, prison
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t solve the problem to the every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "root"?
roots
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
effective in dealing with offenders in the short-term. Murders,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be imprisoned
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and such a punishment may act as a deterrent. They know that they will face loss of freedom, social isolation and separation from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones if they carry out such criminal acts.

Besides
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
role to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should train power of discernment to gain knowledge about right and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
acts have consequences.
As a result
, they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prepared to avoid situations which may involve them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Secondly
, psychology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
step which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
increase their awareness about self
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotion may lead them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
Lastly
, in prison themselves, educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
aim to provide prisoners with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualifications to reintegrate community and find work when they
are released
.

I consider that imprison is not the best effective weapon to fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the long-term, and I believe that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a more essential and durable solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS letter In many countries imprisonment is the most common solution to crimes. However some people believe that better education will be a more effective solution. v. 3

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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