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For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v.9

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 9
Dear Mr Garner, I would like to express my gratitude to the local yoga club which you designate as a secretary. I immensely enjoyed my association with the club and the benefits I had received from being a full-time member for a year is immeasurable. However, due to my transfer to a new office, which is in a different city, I want to cancel my membership. Not to mention, when I first enrolled at the club as an amateur with no knowledge of Yoga, I was fascinated by the talented and friendly instructors. I had paid Rs 2000 as a monthly fee for the first few months at the club's front desk. Then I subscribed to the full-time silver member and paid Rs 3500 per month in cash. I now possess good health, not to mention the changes in my attitude and personality, thanks to the club and the people behind it. With regret, I would like to inform you that I have been transferred to Mumbai and I can no longer continue my association with the club. Please accept this letter as a formal notification for the cancellation of my membership. Once again I thank you and the people behind this fabulous club. Yours sincerely, Prasadarao Talluri
Dear Mr Garner,

I would like to express my gratitude to the local yoga
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
which you designate as a secretary. I
immensely
enjoyed my association with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
and the benefits I had received from being a full-time member for a year is immeasurable.
However
, due to my transfer to a new office, which is in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city, I want to cancel my membership.

Not to mention, when I
first
enrolled at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
as an amateur with no knowledge of Yoga, I
was fascinated
by the talented and friendly instructors. I had paid Rs 2000 as a monthly fee for the
first
few months at the club's front desk. Then I subscribed to the full-time silver member and paid Rs 3500 per month in cash. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
possess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health, not to mention the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in my attitude and personality, thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
behind it.

With regret, I would like to inform you that I have
been transferred
to Mumbai and I can no longer continue my association with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
accept this letter as a formal notification for the cancellation of my membership.

Once again I thank you and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
behind this fabulous club.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Prasadarao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Talluri
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS letter For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 9

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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