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For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v.10

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 10
Dear Mr Anderson, I am writing to inform you that I have decided to discontinue my membership with the 'In-Shape Fitness and Sports Club' effective from 1st September 2020. I owned a basic membership and received numerous advantages from it. Now I am seeking your cooperation to cancel my membership. I joined your club on 2nd July 2018 as a basic member and thoroughly enjoyed my association with such a wonderful club with astounding instructors who are highly skilled and friendly. I have always paid my monthly fee using my Visa Credit card issued by NIFC Bank. My primary objective to join the club was to improve my tennis skills. I have always enjoyed watching tennis competitions and wanted to play it. But I wanted to learn from an expert and your club was the excellent one to fulfil my dream. On top of that, your staff members were very welcoming and the instructors have improved my skills to an extent that I won the intercity tournament held in January 2020. I think it would not have been possible if I had not joined the club. Unfortunately, my company has recently asked me to relocate to a different city. Even though I would have loved to come to the club, I, unfortunately, cannot do it due to the distance. You can send me a confirmation letter of my membership cancellation to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . All my payments are up to date and I will pay my membership fee up to August 2020. Yours sincerely, John White
Dear Mr Anderson,

I am writing to inform you that I have decided to discontinue my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
with the 'In-Shape Fitness and Sports Club' effective from 1st September 2020. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
a basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
and received numerous advantages from it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I am seeking your cooperation to cancel my membership.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
on 2nd July 2018 as a basic member and
thoroughly
enjoyed my association with such a wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
with astounding instructors who are
highly
skilled and friendly. I have always paid my monthly fee using my Visa Credit card issued by
Possible spelling mistake found.
NIFC
Bank.

My primary objective to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
was to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my tennis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. I have always enjoyed watching tennis competitions and wanted to play it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I wanted to learn from an expert and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
was the excellent one to fulfil my dream.
On top of that
, your staff members were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
welcoming and the instructors have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to an extent that I won the intercity tournament held in January 2020. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would not have been possible if I had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the club.

Unfortunately, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has recently asked me to relocate to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city.
Even though
I would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
, I, unfortunately, cannot do it due to the distance.

You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me a confirmation letter of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
cancellation to This email address is
being protected
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
spambots
. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
All my payments are up to date and I will pay my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
fee up to August 2020.

Yours
sincerely
,

John White
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS letter For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 10

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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